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Showing posts from November, 2011

What Does Santa Say About Discipline, Homework, and Chores?

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Santa and M rs. Claus are master mentors when it comes to parenting. Want a good read? Would you like to follow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they deal with parenting issues with love and wisdom? It's better than attending a class and you don't even have to leave home or use any gas. I know what you are going to say, because I have heard it before. . I even heard it from a nice lady who was a receptionist at an office I used to visit. I told her that I was writing a book about parenting. . "What are you writing about right now?" she asked. I said: "Right now I'm writing about how awful it is to force a child to stay in her room just because she was a little slow in cleaning her room. " She said: "That's what I do with my daughter. I make her stay in her room." I shook my head. This nice lady has thick glasses on, and I could see a picture behind her desk of a little angelic looking girl with thick glasses on (I'm guessing this was her daughte...

If You are Going to Read or Buy as a Gift for Someone Only One Parenting Book - This is the One!

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Santa and M rs. Claus are master mentors when it comes to parenting. Want a good read? Would you like to follow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they deal with parenting issues with love and wisdom? It's better than attending a class and you don't even have to leave home or use any gas. Here is a sample of one of my recent posts where someone asked about disciplining a 4 year old. Most kids don't need discipline, they need direction and redirection. They need watching with love, kindness, and patience. When I was a k id I fidgeted, interrupted, didn't pay attention, spoke out of turn, and was full of boundless energy. I liked taking things apart, and then could never get them back together again. So, like Bart Simpson and Tom Sawyer, I survived. I outgrew my issues and graduated from high school with a full four year academic scholarship. I became a corporate manager and college in structor (with no adult ADHD symptoms). I'm going to tell you the truth. Time outs or spank...

Free Parenting Advice Online - Send Us Your Email Questions

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Roland loves email questions Hi, this is Roland. I love email because I get to communicate with friends from countries all over the world. Talk to a Pastor Online has friends in Nigeria, Ghana, Australia, India, Brazil and Jamaica - just to name a few. Need prayer? Got a question you would like to ask me? You have come to the right place. If you would like to ask a question, you have come to the right place. I have answered questions from friends around the world about a variety of topics. People ask me about tattoos, music, should kids have a cell phone, should parents let their kids play video games, is college for everyone, home schooling, discipline, hyper kids (like I was). Lots of Bible questions, coping with stress, college, prayers, television, and much more. I'm always glad to help. Before we begin, I just need to mention a few rules. 1. You must be 18. 2. No bedroom questions. 3. I cannot do counseling for free (but you can ask if online counseling is right for you...

Roland Answers Questions on the Radio - What is Your Biggest Pet Peeve?

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Q. Roland, after 22 years answering questions, here's one I bet you haven't answered yet. What is your biggest pet peeve? A. Good question. For the best question of the month, I'm sending you an autographed copy of my latest book The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage. I have several pet peeves. It depends what hat I have on--parent educator, college instructor, driver, counselor, talk show host, author. I'll share my biggest pet peeve as a parent educator. My biggest pet peeve is mothers who bring their child into the store, Starbucks, or donut shop in the morning and buy the child hot chocolate and a donut (or other sweet pastry). Can you believe it? That is about the worst breakfast you could possibly get a child. What kind of a mother would buy her child hot chocolate and a donut?

Should Kids Have Cell Phones?

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Q. Should Parents let their kids have cell phones? A. No. Except for safety and for calling mom or dad. We got rid of our cell phone and its expensive monthly contract charge. We got a Trac Phone at Walmart and every three months we get another hundred minutes for $20 or less. My son has it with him when he goes to a rehearsal or other activity and calls me when he is about done so I can pick him up. I take it with me when I teach a class or some work so I can call and tell him when I'm coming home. We carry it when we travel in case we need help from the motor club. We only talk to people on the land line. It's cheaper and we don't have to worry about electro smog and cell phone radiation. Less cell phone equals a more peaceful life.

Should Parents Let Their Kids Casual Date?

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A. Causal dating is a bad idea. I have an entire chapter on dating and courtship and the difference between them in my book which is available at Amazon in paperback, Kindle and at Barnes and Noble. Discounted eBook at Scribd.com

Should I Let My Child Play Video Games?

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Q. Should I Let My Child Play Video Games? A. No. But it will only work if your child is very small and has not already started and gotten addicted. Q. My son plays video games all the time. Some say it is educational. But some of them seem awfully violent and rude to me. That's all he does is play video games. My intuition tells me that it's unhealthy. A. Thank you for your honesty. I've been warning parents about video games for years but no one listens to me. Once the child is addicted and all the peers are playing video games too, there's not much you can do but monitor and try to keep him away from the violent and graphic ones. My son has never played video games. When my son was little, I got a word processor that was just like a desktop, with a keyboard and a big monitor. The only thing is: it only contained one program: Word. He learned to type, to spell, to write and to use Word. By the time he was 9 or 10 he was editing and doing the layout for my...

Should Parents Spank their Children?

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A. Never. Q. Why not? A. I consider it child abuse and it should be outlawed. A. I have a good blog post on the subject. I also wrote Santa's Take on Parenting, which lists many positive and loving alternatives to spanking. You can find it on Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

Should I Send My Child to Day Care and Pre School?

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A. No. When my child was small (he's in college now) we never left him with a baby sitter either. One of us was there at all times. Q. But what about socialization skills? A. He socialized with us and with people of all ages. We also got involved with the local home school crowd and found zillions of fun and learning activities to take him to. It was great fun. Read the following poem A Parent's Sad Recollection by anonymous My daughter cried every day. The first few times I sent her away. . Mommy, can't I please stay with you? No, you must go off to school. . But some kids get to have school at home. Quiet. Can't you see I'm on the phone? Besides, your pre school teacher said you don't always do what you are told. Don't make me punish and scold. But Mommy, Einstein didn't like school and they called him a fool. He was the exception. But you are the rule. But Mommy, I was in class all day and the sun is out. Do your homework or I will scream and s...

Should Parents Let Their Kids Go to Sleep Overs?

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Q. What do you think of sleep overs? A. Terrible idea. I would never let my child go to a sleep over unless it was my child and my child alone (or with her brother or sister) to stay at grandma's house.

My Daughter Wants to Stay Home and Go to the Local Junior College but Everyone Says She Should Go Away to a Big School

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I read a boo k by Campus psychiatrist, Dr. Miriam Grossman MD, entitled Unprotected , and it alerted me to think twice about just sending kids away and assuming that the level of care, protection, and supervision will be what you would want for your child. Today you hear of many young people who are moving back in with their parents while going to college. Sounds like a good idea to me. I've heard the argument made that letting kids come back home is coddling the kids, overprotecting them and so on. But you know what--if it means that your son or daughter is safe from being assaulted, then I'm in favor of kids staying safely with their parents a little longer. "All I can say is that today's college students are kinda on their own when it comes to solving problems and repairing issues." Kinda on their own. Their parents are often well meaning and nice, but sort of unaware when it comes to many issues. Sometimes it's the mere fact that parents are miles remov...

Should Parents Spank their Kids

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Should parents spank their kids? " Absolutely not," says Dr. Roland Trujillo PhD, pastor, lecturer, and author of 11 books. "It is totally unnecessary." . "Dr. Roland Trujillo and Senior Pastor has written the book (now at Amazon.com) on alternatives to spanking. It is called Santa's Take on Parenting: Secrets from the North Pole. It will actually mentor you in learning how to apply patience and wisdom in working with your kids. It is also one of the sweetest books ever written and is right up there with Miracle on 34th Street as an all time reminder of what love is all about. " "Little kids don't need discipline, they need direction and redirection. They need watching with love, kindness, and patience. Older kids need the loving presence of an involved aware parent. They need mentoring, coaching, and a parent who sets a good example. I'm going to tell you the truth. Time outs or spanking are poor substitutes for patience and wi...