My Daughter Wants to Stay Home and Go to the Local Junior College but Everyone Says She Should Go Away to a Big School

I read a book by Campus psychiatrist, Dr. Miriam Grossman MD, entitled Unprotected, and it alerted me to think twice about just sending kids away and assuming that the level of care, protection, and supervision will be what you would want for your child.

Today you hear of many young people who are moving back in with their parents while going to college. Sounds like a good idea to me.

I've heard the argument made that letting kids come back home is coddling the kids, overprotecting them and so on. But you know what--if it means that your son or daughter is safe from being assaulted, then I'm in favor of kids staying safely with their parents a little longer.

"All I can say is that today's college students are kinda on their own when it comes to solving problems and repairing issues."

Kinda on their own. Their parents are often well meaning and nice, but sort of unaware when it comes to many issues. Sometimes it's the mere fact that parents are miles removed from what is going on, having continued the legacy of just dropping their kids off at pre school, daycare, over nighters, school, after school, soccer practice, and finally the college campus. Thye are in the habit of dropping their kids off somewhere. So dropping them off at college is just the latest drop off.

The parents ASSUME, all the while, that there will be proper supervision and that everything will be okay.

Unfortunately, this is all too often not the case.

College students often turn to each other for help. Their friends are usually nice and supportive, but as nice and as smart as they are, they don't have the wisdom of years.

It used to be you could read Ann Landers. She had common sense, but she is gone. There are still people out there who are strong, noble and aware. They have love and understanding. They can give you some tips, shed some light in the cause and solution for your issue and how to use your resiliency to quickly get back on your feet and move forward without becoming dependent on them.

But I still think that kids, and college kids too, should be able to look to their parents first. And when they turn to their parents for help or advice and counsel--that help should be there.

Parents need to be involved, aware, and informed. Grandparents need to step up too.

When all is said and done, you are safer with a decent parent or grandparent than with some stranger.



I heard a great interview on FamilyLife Today on the radio. Dennis Rainey interviewed Mary Kassian. Her book Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild is a must read for every young lady and parents too.

The interview was riveting. She emphasized the importance of setting pre established protective boundaries, so as to avoid getting into a compromising or unsafe place in the first place. She gives plenty of examples. Preview at Amazon Click here to listen to the interview.

I recently heard another great interview on NPR Radio's On Point Program. If you have daughters (or sons) away at college or are contemplating sending them off to college, you must listen to this interview.

When you listen to this riveting interview you will hear from two ladies who have the stories, the facts, and the analysis that every parent with college age or soon to be college age kids will want to listen to.

For example, these ladies talk to college kids all across the country and here is what they repeatedly hear. They hear of rape and other bad things happening to women on campus. They also hear of hostile atmospheres that no one seems to be doing anything about.

For example, they said that the girls they talk to are telling them that when girls are walking around the campus they see boys looking at really heavy duty degrading things to women on their computers--openly, even in the common areas. They emphasized that this is not unusual or isolated, it is common.

One of the ladies made the comment that there is something wrong with the college culture when the morning after the night before, one person feels guilty and used and the other is getting high fives.

Of course, every school will say they are taking it seriously, that there are policies and there are administrators and counselors and training, etc. But something doesn't add up. The statistics for rape on campuses, according to these ladies, are telling. Something is wrong. Best to become informed. Hear what these ladies and others have to say, and then make an informed decision.