The foundation of confidence is rightness. Lacking confidence has everything to do with not knowing who we are, and with not being who we are. Remember the beautiful fairy tale about the ugly duckling that was really a beautiful swan? Until the duckling found out that she was really a beautiful swan, she felt uneasy, out of place, and didn't fit in. In other words, the little duckling had to find out who she was before she could have real confidence. That brings us to another typical situation: where from the time we are little, we are made to feel uncomfortable for being ourselves or telling the truth. We can't talk about dad's drinking, mom's temper, or big sister's cruelty. If we do we are put down, or perhaps even worse, made to seem like we are wrong. In school we have to sit still or get medicated. And when we become adults, we find that we are supposed to pretend. We have to pretend to be nice, pretend to like things, and pretend that we don't see certain
