Should I Stay at Home With My Child
Editor's note: be sure to check out the link below to the book7 Myths of Working Mothers--Why children and (most) careers just don't mix.
Question:
I am a SAHM of two kids, a toddler and a 5 yr old. I LOVE being a SAHM and
hardly ever have days that I feel like I miss being at work. I worked in a fairly creative job but the hours were really bad (not 9-5), I find spending time with my children a much more rewarding experience then working. I feel that this time with them is going by quickly so I am trying to savour it.
But, I wonder will I regret not keeping my ties to my old career? Will I regret taking time off work? If I do need to find work again in a few years will it be impossible for me to find it if I haven't been working all this time? I have always found a job easily and feel that if I really wanted to work again I could.
-Anon
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Roland's Answer:
I have never regretted staying at home. I don't care about my own creativity. I care about my kids' creativity. I've been home educating my child, and I'm kept very busy networking with
other parents, and taking my son to music lessons, art class, gymnastics, choir, and later music camps and competitions.
I taught evening college courses so I could be home during the day.
There is definitely a choice and a commitment involved, one way or the other. Just like in Robert Frost's poem. There is a road not taken.
If you do what you know is right in your heart of hearts, and unless there are dire circumstances, where you just have to leave your kids to work, you will undoubtedly want to be with your kids, because it's the right thing to do. I the short run, it will seem like you are making a sacrifice. But in the long run, I have found that I gave up nothing at all. The true riches are to be found with the children.
I haven't read this bok, but I've read about it and it sounds like an informative read.
7 Myths of Working Mothers: why children and (most) careers just don't mix.
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Sunrise Sunset
Words & Music by Sheldon Harnick & Jerry Bock
From the musical "Fiddler on the Roof", 1964
Performed by Topol in the movie of the same name
Is this the little girl I carried?
Is this the little boy at play?
I don't remember growing older --
When did they?
When did she get to be a beauty?
When did he grow to be so tall?
Wasn't it yesterday when they were small?
Refrain:
Sun-rise, sun-set, sun-rise, sun-set,
Swiftly flow the days;
Seedlings turn overnight to sun-flow'rs,
Blossoming even as we gaze.
Sun-rise, sun-set, sun-rise, sun-set,
Swiftly fly the years;
One season following anoth-er,
Laden with hap-pi-ness...and tears.
Now is the little boy a bridegroom,
Now is the little girl a bride;
Under the canopy I see them, side by side.
Place the gold ring upon her finger,
Drink the sweet wine and break the glass --
Soon the full circle will have come to pass.
A Parent's Recollection
by anonymous
My daughter cried every day.
The first few times I sent her away.
.
Mommy, can't I please stay with you?
No, you must go off to school.
.
But some kids get to have school at home.
Quiet. Can't you see I'm on the phone?
.
Your pre school said you don't always do what you are told.
Don't make me punish and scold.
But Mommy, Einstein didn't like school
and they called him a fool.
He was the exception.
But you are the rule.
But Mommy, I was in class all day and the sun is out.
Do your homework or I will scream and shout.
.
Stop making trouble for me
I'm busy, can't you see.
.
I'll be glad when I can put you in after-school every day.
I'm sick and tired of you always asking me to play.
***************************
My daughter, I am old
With not too long to live I'm told.
Could you take just a few minutes to sit with me?
I'm as lonely as can be.
Sorry, Mom. I don't have time to stay.
I took some work home today.
Oh, by the way,
we're taking you to the senior home to stay.
But I so enjoy being home with you
Sorry, but I'm just too busy at work to care for you.
************
Son, remember when you wanted to play golf with me?
Who would have thought it would take 50 years for it to be?
.
It would make me feel good
If you could, if you would
Just play a little golf with me.
I feel so cold and a little old.
Sorry, Dad, you know I would.
But my boss says I need to work,
and I always do what I'm told.
Life's golden moments come but once.
Here today and gone tomorrow.
Miss one and it's gone forever.
