Love and Marriage: Why All the Arguing and Divorce
Resenting Parents is often a Factor in Why Kids Turn to Alcohol and Drugs. This is the title of a revealing article I wrote. It is a timeless classic. The article is about drug and alcohol use, and about the harm of emotionalism--but it also bears witness to just how important parents are. If you, as a parent are unenlightened and selfish, you are desitned to hurt your kids.
Most of us came from dysfunctional homes. And the scars we bear affect the rest of our lives. Unless we wake up and begin to understand the reason for all the squabbling, fighting, violence, suppressed hostility and divorce, we will be doomed to fail in our own relationships and hurt our kids.
Marriage is not meant to be a pleasure party. It is a framework in which we can work out the curse of original sin. Behold: every couple is Adam and Eve redux (being brought back).
You cannot escape the legacy by just shacking up instead of marrying. I'm sorry but because it lacks honor and full commitment, it does not have God's blessing.
Likewise, some think they can escape the arguing and unhappiness through divorce. But the kids are still hurt (read The Unanticipated Legacy of Divorce: a 25 Year Landmark Study). Shacking up is not the answer. Divorce is not the answer. The answer is to understand what marriage is all about, and more importantly to learn to be unselfish. Here's the article:
People who drink, take drugs, engage in rituals, chant for long periods, get lost in music, or get a runner’s high are all after the same thing: a high. Some people don’t even have to take drugs or engage in a weird ritual. They can experience the high of hate, the high of using another, or the high of arousing a crowd or audience....
Teens and kids who drink alcohol, puff on marijuana or sniff glue are repeating the age old quest for the high. In their case, though, it is most likely to escape from guilt for resenting their parents or to escape from the boredom of school. It often begins with being introduced to it by so-called friends, but then becomes the easy escape from conscience or boredom.
Kids are often mad at their parents—especially when the parents have been impatient, accusatory, or haven’t been there for them. Abandoned to the peer group, the kids become addicted to the group and guilty for giving up on principle. So they drink or smoke to escape from the guilt for hating their parents and copping out to peer pressure.
Other kids, such as the ones in college, are often guilty for being ambitious, for copping out to the pressure to study and become something (other than what God intended).
......Read More
Most of us came from dysfunctional homes. And the scars we bear affect the rest of our lives. Unless we wake up and begin to understand the reason for all the squabbling, fighting, violence, suppressed hostility and divorce, we will be doomed to fail in our own relationships and hurt our kids.
Marriage is not meant to be a pleasure party. It is a framework in which we can work out the curse of original sin. Behold: every couple is Adam and Eve redux (being brought back).
You cannot escape the legacy by just shacking up instead of marrying. I'm sorry but because it lacks honor and full commitment, it does not have God's blessing.
Likewise, some think they can escape the arguing and unhappiness through divorce. But the kids are still hurt (read The Unanticipated Legacy of Divorce: a 25 Year Landmark Study). Shacking up is not the answer. Divorce is not the answer. The answer is to understand what marriage is all about, and more importantly to learn to be unselfish. Here's the article:
People who drink, take drugs, engage in rituals, chant for long periods, get lost in music, or get a runner’s high are all after the same thing: a high. Some people don’t even have to take drugs or engage in a weird ritual. They can experience the high of hate, the high of using another, or the high of arousing a crowd or audience....
Teens and kids who drink alcohol, puff on marijuana or sniff glue are repeating the age old quest for the high. In their case, though, it is most likely to escape from guilt for resenting their parents or to escape from the boredom of school. It often begins with being introduced to it by so-called friends, but then becomes the easy escape from conscience or boredom.
Kids are often mad at their parents—especially when the parents have been impatient, accusatory, or haven’t been there for them. Abandoned to the peer group, the kids become addicted to the group and guilty for giving up on principle. So they drink or smoke to escape from the guilt for hating their parents and copping out to peer pressure.
Other kids, such as the ones in college, are often guilty for being ambitious, for copping out to the pressure to study and become something (other than what God intended).
......Read More
