Anger Management and Recovery
Let's face it: 99.9% of us get angry too easily. We mask our anger with a pasty smile on our face, or perhaps we repress it and walk away. But we are angry. In fact, suppressed rage is one of the biggest emotional factors contributing to health issues.
Another thing we do is find a euphemism to describe our anger: we say we are "upset, nervous, tired, or disappointed." In marriage, years of suppressed anger can result in someone "suddenly" saying: "I need to find myself or I've changed. " What they really mean is I'm resentful. In other words, sadly, "I'm harboring secret hatred and judgment toward you."
Now let's get to the bottom line: if you have a problem with alcohol, drugs, food, or even porn, most likely it is a direct result of anger. How so?
When we are angry, we need something to distract us from the guilt and soothe our hurting and frustrated ego. We need something to take away the pent up hostility and drain us of tension.
Some people work off their hostility (which has its own problems). Many turn to booze, drugs, marijuana, or food. You see, when we become angry and full of rage, we become an animal. The beautiful human qualities of graciousness, kindness, reasonableness, and magnanimity go out the window. In its place stands a hurting, inferior, rageful, resentful shell of a human, whose only relief is in escape and tension relief.
Some of us are even more sneaky about our anger. We are secretly judgmental and resentful at others (especially our husband or wife). Sometimes we are even clever at making the other wrong and then hating the other with a superior hate. It's easy to upset your husband with little teases, nagging, insinuation, or confusion. He eventually becomes angry and then you can secretly hate him, judging his anger and failing.
It's easy to be cruel to our children, blaming and dumping on them until they become angry and express their anger. Being without the advanced manipulative skill that the adult has, the child is foolish and clumsy in expressing his anger. This permits the parent to up the ante and punish the child.
But the manipulative spouse or parent does not get away with their cruel games without hurting themselves. their cruelty and secret hostility and judgment brings condemnation from conscience. And conflict with conscience brings pain and a need for comfort. Again, the person turns for comfort to food , drugs, alcohol or anything else that will "save" them from conscience.
I am trying to make you aware that anger is the result of judgment, willfulness, and selfish egotism. While it is true that your spouse or coworkers may be imperfect, even irritating, if you really had love, you would not resent them. The truly human person has patience. This patience comes from not having judged in the first place.
Someone once said that when we are wronged we cry out for judgment. When we wrong another, we cry out for mercy. As long as you are angry or resentful, you won't even see your own rudeness and inconsideration toward others. You are too busy judging others to see your own fault.
Recovery from food, drug, or other addictions means seeing, really seeing why you needed the false comfort of drugs or the misuse of food in the first place. If you were not angry and upset in the first place, you would not need comfort and tension relief in the second place.
And if you did not form secret judgments in the first place, you would not become angry. If you were not playing God, and easily frustrated and angered when your will is not done, you would not become tense and needy of lowly comforts.
The problem now is undoubtedly that your wrong self craves and cries out for the false comfort and false deliverance of lowly things we have mentioned. You have fallen to become a creature that now craves the drugs and false comforts.
Change begins not with struggling with your lower nature and its lowly needs, but being able to stand back so that your soul can be objective to the lower self.
By now you know that struggling with your own lower self, using anger, is just more of the wrong way of dealing with things that got you in trouble in the first place.
If your soul is ready to drop pride and be sorry for your cruel game playing and judgment, and if your soul is ready to admit it is wrong, then suddenly the proper meditation will work for you. You will be given the power to stand back and observe what is wrong with you without being involved in it. The power of observation is sufficient to begin a change for the better, beginning with your soul.
You will discover that you have the power to observe the wrong without becoming upset by what you see. And with no more emotion added, reason and patience come to the fore. You will have the power to observe and to get better without any effort on your part, and this by the grace of God. It will be a gift to you for being patient with others. And when you are patient with others, you will also be able to be patient with yourself.
Once the soul reconnects to conscience, intuition, and the God of conscience. Once the soul is repented and experiences a profound regret, it becomes a friend of truth, a friend of conscience, and a friend of God.
Suddenly conscience becomes intuition again, a friend and presence we wish to walk in, not something to run from and avoid.
And when you are a friend of conscience and humbled, suddenly you no longer become tense in the first place or angry in the first place. Without the build up of tension, there is no need for unnatural relief. Suddenly the soul enjoys seeing the truth instead of wanting to run from it. The soul becomes incompatible with the old consciousness lowering activities.
If you would like to get started, may I recommend our Anger Management Pack. It consists of 2 cd's. You receive the advanced meditation and booklet, and a special meditation on giving up anger. Visit our website http://www.rolandtrujillo.com/ Go to the store and click on Meditation Packs to find our new Anger Management Pack.
