My Child Does Not Want to Do Her Homework, Part 2

Abstract: Patience, love and understanding are what your child needs, not more pressure. When I was a kid, school was boring and somewhat frightening. But I had a library card, comic books, and a shortwave radio. I survived the early years and went on to receive multiple scholarship offers, an earned advanced degree from a major university, a corporate career AND have taught undergraduate and graduate level courses for over 20 years. If I was a kid today, they would probably label me and put me on drugs.

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Who was it who said: Art is long and life is short. If life is short, then I better say what I have to say on the subject. I have your attention, so here goes.

1. The best way to school is home based education. Children need to be with their parents. There is a reason why God designed it so that children have parents. There is nothing more beautiful and wonderful and happy that spending time with your child, and for the child to be with his or her parents.

2. Homeschooling does not mean just doing school at home: sitting for long hours, reading textbooks, and taking test. Home based education is more alive, fluid, relevant, interesting, and fun.

3. Why would anyone want to institutionalize a child, putting him in a place where there are strangers, peer pressure, sometimes even drugs, bullies, chaos, disease, or even gangs? School wasn't so good when I was a kid, and it is far worse now.

4. The list of famous people who were home schooled is enormous. Here are just a few famous homeschoolers: George Washington, Elenore Roosevelt, Ansel Adams, Thomas Edison, Susan B. Anthony, Pearl S. Buck, Douglas MacArthur, Alexander Graham Bell, Woodrow Wilson, Booker T. Washington, Winston Churchill, Agatha Christie and the list goes on and on.

Why am I telling you this? Because I want to help you to think outside the box.

I know that some of you can't home school. The country where you live may not allow it or you're a single parent who has to work. I understand. Though I am hoping that some of you who live where it is legal and where you have the time will give home based education a try.

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Incidentally, I recently met a nice couple who home schooled their grand daughter. Their daughter and husband broke up, and the daughter had issues, so the grandparents took charge of caring for their grand daughter. They said that the years they spent with their grand daughter were some of the happiest years of their lives.

I also hope that more of the churches (that have empty buildings most of the week) would open a small school. In private schools, there is often less chaos, gangs, violence and so on.

Now there is even a home school that is administered over the internet. One company (Alpha Omega) has something called school in a box.

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I'll tell you about an approach I like even better later (where all you need is a library card!), but many people need a structure and formal covering organization, especially to get started.

Here are some suggestions for getting started in really helping your child and bringing the family together.

1. Don't jump to conclusions or let others frame the argument for you. In my opinion, there is almost always some issue involved when kids don't want to do homework that is not their fault. It could be anything from a scary classroom, an impatient teacher, parents arguing and talking of divorce, or the fact that the material is boring, confusing, or ill timed. Spend time with your child and listen, really listen. Be patient. Don't pressure your child. There is plenty of pressure out there already. Don't add to it.

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2. To think outside the box, start to do some research.
Did you know, for example, that there was a famous Readers Digest article entitled Better Late Than Early.

I kid you not. It was written by a giant of a man named Raymond Moore. Based on his studies of Charlotte Mason's work, and on the groundbreaking studies of Jean Piaget, he argued that many kids do better when material is introduced later rather than earlier.

This Reader's Digest article was so popular that they asked him to write a book, which he did. The title: Better Late than Early.

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I think he is right. I remember when I was a kid. In math class, I just couldn't follow what was going on. I could memorize and even do the math to some extent, but I didn't get it. I didn't really understand. I started to do poorly. So they put me in the slow class.

Guess what! In the slow class, I could follow what was going on! So I understood it.

Before you know it, I was on the National Honor Society, received multiple academic scholarship offers, earned a B.A. and an M.S. and taught university courses for 20 years.
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In other words, I had been overwhelmed because I matured slowly. But when I was ready, much later, I quickly caught up to and surpassed the early starters.

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Don't be quick to quit on your kid.

I heard an educational consultant on a radio program the other day. Her name is Carole Joy Seid. She really gets it. For example, she was talking about a literature based approach to education. Instead of using workbooks, and textbooks, she read great books to her children.when they were small. When they got bigger, they read great books to each other. Wow.

Here is a link to an interview with her. I think you will enjoy it.

Want some fresh ideas? Listen to the interview.

So how about thinking outside the box. If your child is in some sort of school now, do something to supplement school. Something different (instead of just nagging them over homework). How about reading at home. Read some great novels--Jane Austen, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, and so on--great novels about people who come to life as you read the story. Read to your kids. Start to have more and more books in your home. Shelves of great literature.

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And for fun, little Kids love the animal stories of Thornton Burgess. They love the fun stories about The Boxcar Children. older kids love The Nancy Drew Mysteries and The Hardy Boys. They will be begging you to go to the library.

Turn the TV off. Get rid of the awful violent mindless video games. It's not good for kids to be staring at a screen.

Did you know what the American Academy of Pediatricians recommends? No television for kids under two.

When the child gets bored, don't rush to give them something to do. Wait. Before you know it, you will walk by their room and they will be reading. Walk by and pretend you didn't notice.

Go places with your kids. Not big huge over-planned vacations. Take some little trips and excursions here and there. It's a good excuse to spend time with your kids. Go to the store, buy some ingredients, and experiment with making a batch of cookies.

Many years ago I had a job that I saw was taking too much time and taking me away from my son. I quit, took a few weeks off, and then found another job that gave me the freedom to be home a lot more. . . . . .Read Part 1

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Good luck and May God Bless,

Your friend,

Coach Roland

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My Daughter Does Not Want to Clean Her Room:
A Handbook for Parents and Kids
is now available! The secret to stress free chores. Roland's advice to dads. What if your son does not want to listen to you. Learning blocks. Divorce. A word to moms. Good books for little kids. And much more.

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