Roland on Education and Parenting

Disciplining Without Time-Outs

2011-12-30T15:03:00.000-08:00

I know what you are going to say, because I have heard it before.

I even heard it from a nice lady who was a receptionist at an office I used to visit. I told her that I was writing a book about parenting.

"What are you writing about right now?" she asked.

I said: "Right now I'm writing about how awful it is to force a child to stay in her room just because she was a little slow in cleaning her room. "

She said: "That's what I do with my daughter. I make her stay in her room."

I shook my head. This nice lady has thick glasses on, and I could see a picture behind her desk of a little angelic looking girl with thick glasses on (I'm guessing this was her daughter).

I said, "Why don't you try patience?"

Do you know what she said?

She said, "I tried patience and it doesn't work!"

I assured her that patience does work.

You see--she, like so many other parents, doesn't think that patience will work.

It's because she never gave it a chance. No wonder she says it doesn't work.

You see, patience never fails.

Well, here's something I know for sure. Patience=love.

So now I am going to prove to you that patience does work.

I know that if I can convince you that patience works, both you and your child will be much happier.

All you have to do is preview the first 40 or 50 pages free and you will have discovered several strategies that are based in patience and that really work.

I will be happy if Santa helps improve your relationship with your child.

Written in the tradition of LePetit Prince and Jonathan Livingston Seagull, this magical little book is the best kept secret in parenting literature. It can be read as a heart warming story; but like Le Petit Prince, it also is filled with profound insights and meaning.

Santa's Take on Parenting can be read over and over. It has the amazing quality of sparking new insight each time it is read. It makes a great gift.

But don't take my word for it. Read it for yourself.

Preview online at Scribd in eBook format for a discount

Shadow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they demonstrate their skills in gently but firmly guiding two kids with issues who are visiting with them.

Find out the secrets to their success.

Discover what Santa's skills are and why they work.

Let Santa and Mrs. Claus be your mentors!

Incidentally, just as parenting is a year round job, so is learning and developing your parenting skills! Don't wait until the holidays.

"Dr. Roland Trujillo PhD and Senior Pastor has written the book (now at Amazon.com) on alternatives to spanking. It is called Santa's Take on Parenting: Secrets from the North Pole. It will actually mentor you in learning how to apply patience and wisdom in working with your kids. It is also one of the sweetest books ever written and is right up there with Miracle on 34th Street as an all time reminder of what love is all about. "

"Little kids don't need discipline, they need direction and redirection. They need watching with love, kindness, and patience. Older kids need the loving presence of an involved aware parent. They need mentoring, coaching, and a parent who sets a good example. I'm going to tell you the truth. Time outs or spanking are poor substitutes for patience and wisdom.
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Written in the tradition of Le Petit Prince and Jonathan Livingston Seagull, this beautiful little book can be read as a heart warming story; but like Le Petit Prince, it also is filled with profound insights and meaning. Santa's Take on Parenting can be read over and over, and it makes a great gift.

Shadow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they demonstrate their skills in gently but firmly guiding two kids who are visiting with them.

Find out the secrets to their success.

Discover what Santa's skills are and why they work.

Let Santa and Mrs. Claus be your mentors!

Incidentally, just as parenting is a year round job, so is learning and developing your parenting skills! Don't wait until the holidays.

Click here to preview at Amazon.com in both quality paperback and in Kindle.

Now at Barnes and Noble Nookbook. In color!

I know that if I can convince you that patience works, both you and your child will be much happier.

All you have to do is preview the first 40 or 50 pages free and you will have discovered several strategies that are based in patience and that really work.

I will be happy if Santa helps improve your relationship with your child.

Shadow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they demonstrate their skills in gently but firmly guiding two kids with issues who are visiting with them.

Find out the secrets to their success.

Discover what Santa's skills are and why they work.

Let Santa and Mrs. Claus be your mentors!

Incidentally, just as parenting is a year round job, so is learning and developing your parenting skills! Don't wait until the holidays.

.

Santa's Take on Parenting: Secrets from the North Pole

.What does Santa have to say about homework, discipline, and chores?
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Santa Claus has finally spoken on the subject of parenting. Who is better suited to give advice than the one who has brought joy and delight to children for as long as anyone can remember?
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In this modern day Santa story for parents, the reader follows Santa and Mrs. Claus as they work with a couple of kids who come to stay with them. The results are positive and inspirational, as Santa teaches by example how patience and creativity can make parenting a lot more fun and easy.

"In this fun filled educational book, the author introduces innovative parenting strategies by using the power of story telling to take the reader on a fictional visit with Santa and Mrs. Claus. The reader learns how Santa and Mrs. Claus handle issues that arise with a pair of youngsters who spend a few months with the Clauses."
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What are "time outs Santa Style?"
.
How does Santa solve discipline and communication issues?
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What's on Santa's do's and don'ts list?
.

Click Here to Look Inside!

What is Santa's secret to making chores fun and easy?
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What does Santa say to parents about getting off to a good start?
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You'll find the answers to these questions and more in this book, destined to become a classic. Roland's new book is a Santa story for grownups with many teachable moments.

Santa's Take on Parenting is a handbook for parents. It has many new, easy to use creative solutions to typical kids issues.

But it is also a fun read and a good story. For example, you will also find out

What does Mrs. Claus do?
What does Mrs. Claus feed Santa?
What is Santa's favorite snack
What does Santa look like?
Does Santa use a computer
What sitting in Santa's sleigh is like
And much more

What others are saying about Santa's Take

"Every parent should read this book."
--Suzy, real estate broker, San Francisco, CA

"Your book is great and should go over well."
Dee, principal, Anderson, CA

“Santa's Take on Parenting" is a real find. I was looking for a book that makes the case for positive and creative parenting without spanking or excessive reliance on punishment.
I plan to provide a copy to my moms and dads who are just getting started or soon to be parents. I also wish to make it "required reading" for parents who need some coaching in positive parenting. Santa's Take will make learning about parenting fun and easier for lots of busy parents.
— Mary, parent educator, Emeryville, CA.

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“Whimsical" After I read Santa's Take on Parenting, I gave a copy to my adoptive and foster parent agency to have in their lending library. — Alicia, mother of three, Northern California

Your kids will listen when you say "Santa says."
.
.Ideal for parents, grandparents, foster parents and anyone who loves kids.
.

Order the beautiful quality paperback edition at Amazon.com as a gift for someone you love
.

10% of every dollar is donated directly to needy shelters for people (and pets too)!

.

and now available for Kindle too!

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A Word to Parents, Foster Parents and Grandparents
The Issue:

You like giving books as gifts, but you want to give a book that is fun and useful. You need a book for a dad, a mom, a teenage mom, a friend, or someone who just works with kids.

The Solution:

Santa's Take on Parenting reads like a novel, is good for both moms and dads, has dozens of parenting tips, and is fun to read.

The Issue:

You know someone who could use some fresh ideas for dealing with their kids. But you don't want to be intrusive or raise resistance.

The Solution:

Santa's Take on Parenting is a fun read and it has lots of creative positive ideas without being heavy handed. It can be read as a good story or as a parenting book.

No Particular Issue, you're just interested in parenting and want to read a good book.

The Solution: Santa's Take on Parenting

.

Use this special link, and 20% of every dollar will be donated directly to needy shelters for people (and pets too!)

.

Disciplining Children

2011-12-30T14:58:00.000-08:00

I even heard it from a nice lady who was a receptionist at an office I used to visit. I told her that I was writing a book about parenting.

"What are you writing about right now?" she asked.

I said: "Right now I'm writing about how awful it is to force a child to stay in her room just because she was a little slow in cleaning her room. "

She said: "That's what I do with my daughter. I make her stay in her room."

I shook my head. This nice lady has thick glasses on, and I could see a picture behind her desk of a little angelic looking girl with thick glasses on (I'm guessing this was her daughter).

I said, "Why don't you try patience?"

Do you know what she said?

She said, "I tried patience and it doesn't work!"

I assured her that patience does work.

You see--she, like so many other parents, doesn't think that patience will work.

It's because she never gave it a chance. No wonder she says it doesn't work.

You see, patience never fails.

Well, here's something I know for sure. Patience=love.

So now I am going to prove to you that patience does work.

I know that if I can convince you that patience works, both you and your child will be much happier.

All you have to do is preview the first 40 or 50 pages free and you will have discovered several strategies that are based in patience and that really work.

I will be happy if Santa helps improve your relationship with your child.

Shadow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they demonstrate their skills in gently but firmly guiding two kids with issues who are visiting with them.

Find out the secrets to their success.

Discover what Santa's skills are and why they work.

Let Santa and Mrs. Claus be your mentors!

Incidentally, just as parenting is a year round job, so is learning and developing your parenting skills! Don't wait until the holidays.

Shadow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they demonstrate their skills in gently but firmly guiding two kids who are visiting with them.

Find out the secrets to their success.

Discover what Santa's skills are and why they work.

Let Santa and Mrs. Claus be your mentors!

Incidentally, just as parenting is a year round job, so is learning and developing your parenting skills! Don't wait until the holidays.

Click here to preview at Amazon.com in both quality paperback and in Kindle.

Now at Barnes and Noble Nookbook. In color!

I know that if I can convince you that patience works, both you and your child will be much happier.

All you have to do is preview the first 40 or 50 pages free and you will have discovered several strategies that are based in patience and that really work.

I will be happy if Santa helps improve your relationship with your child.

Shadow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they demonstrate their skills in gently but firmly guiding two kids with issues who are visiting with them.

Find out the secrets to their success.

Discover what Santa's skills are and why they work.

Let Santa and Mrs. Claus be your mentors!

Incidentally, just as parenting is a year round job, so is learning and developing your parenting skills! Don't wait until the holidays.

.

Santa's Take on Parenting is a handbook for parents. It has many new, easy to use creative solutions to typical kids issues.

But it is also a fun read and a good story. For example, you will also find out

What does Mrs. Claus do?
What does Mrs. Claus feed Santa?
What is Santa's favorite snack
What does Santa look like?
Does Santa use a computer
What sitting in Santa's sleigh is like
And much more

Book About Disciplining Children

2011-12-30T13:53:00.000-08:00

Two year olds don't need discipline, they need direction and redirection. They need watching with love, kindness, and patience.

I'm going to tell you the truth. Time outs or spanking are usually substitutes for patience and wisdom. Often after we have become resentful, our patience runs out. Then we feel frustration. If we are not yelling (or worse), we look for some way to force the child to comply. Usually it for our own benefit, that way we can go back to watching television or whatever else we want to do.

We might even resort to a canned, cleverly marketed Orwellian behavior modification program to sugar coat forced compliance. Then there is always the spectre of psychotropic meds.

So I have decided to make my latest book (now available at Amazon.com) free for you to read online.

But first, I know what you are going to say, because I have heard it before.

I even heard it from a nice lady who was a receptionist at an office I used to visit. I told her that I was writing a book about parenting.

"What are you writing about right now?" she asked.

I said: "Right now I'm writing about how awful it is to force a child to stay in her room just because she was a little slow in cleaning her room. "

She said: "That's what I do with my daughter. I make her stay in her room."

I shook my head. This nice lady has thick glasses on, and I could see a picture behind her desk of a little angelic looking girl with thick glasses on (I'm guessing this was her daughter).

I said, "Why don't you try patience?"

Do you know what she said?

She said, "I tried patience and it doesn't work!"

I assured her that patience does work.

You see--she, like so many other parents, doesn't think that patience will work. But it's because she never gave it a chance. Resentment, frustration and upset toward her daughter blocked patience so it never came to the fore. No wonder she says it doesn't work. It wasn't there.

You see, patience never fails.

In fact, there is a famous verse in the Bible, where Paul talks about love, and he says love never fails.

Well, here's something I know for sure. Patience=love.

So now I am going to prove to you that patience does work.

I know that if I can convince you that patience works, both you and your child will be much happier.

All you have to do is preview the first 40 or 50 pages free at Amazon (it's a quick read) and you will have discovered several strategies that are based in patience and that really work.

But I quickly want to mention why you run out of patience: it is resentment. Resentment washes away patience and reason, and makes you feel frustrated, angry and upset.

I can help you with letting go of resentment. I even offer online consultation at LivePerson.

But first I want you to read some of the book.

Of course, you can also buy it. But I will be happy if it helps improve your relationship with your child. Then you can put a customer comment at Amazon or send me an email.

Your friend, Roland

Written in the tradition of LePetit Prince and Jonathan Livingston Seagull, this beautiful little book can be read as a heart warming story; but like Le Petit Prince, it also is filled with profound insights and meaning. Santa's Take on Parenting can be read over and over, and it makes a great gift.

Shadow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they demonstrate their skills in gently but firmly guiding two kids who are visiting with them.

Find out the secrets to their success.

Discover what Santa's skills are and why they work.

Let Santa and Mrs. Claus be your mentors!

I know you will enjoy it and hopefully there will be something in it that will help you with your parenting.

Incidentally, just as parenting is a year round job, so is learning and developing your parenting skills! Don't wait until the holidays.

Santa's Take on Parenting is available at Amazon.com in both quality paperback and in Kindle. Preview free.

Now at Barnes and Noble Nookbook. In color!

Roland's books are also available in eBook for a reduced price at Scribd. Look inside the books and order to read online, download or transfer to a mobile device at Scribd.com.

While you are there, check out My Daughter Does Not Want to Clean Her Room

How Do I Discipline a 2 Year Old

2011-12-30T13:50:00.000-08:00

Two year olds don't need discipline, they need direction and redirection. They need watching with love, kindness, and patience.

We might even resort to a canned, cleverly marketed Orwellian behavior modification program to sugar coat forced compliance. Then there is always the spectre of psychotropic meds.

So I have decided to make my latest book (now available at Amazon.com) free for you to read online.

But first, I know what you are going to say, because I have heard it before.

I even heard it from a nice lady who was a receptionist at an office I used to visit. I told her that I was writing a book about parenting.

"What are you writing about right now?" she asked.

I said: "Right now I'm writing about how awful it is to force a child to stay in her room just because she was a little slow in cleaning her room. "

She said: "That's what I do with my daughter. I make her stay in her room."

I shook my head. This nice lady has thick glasses on, and I could see a picture behind her desk of a little angelic looking girl with thick glasses on (I'm guessing this was her daughter).

I said, "Why don't you try patience?"

Do you know what she said?

She said, "I tried patience and it doesn't work!"

I assured her that patience does work.

You see, patience never fails.

In fact, there is a famous verse in the Bible, where Paul talks about love, and he says love never fails.

Well, here's something I know for sure. Patience=love.

So now I am going to prove to you that patience does work.

I know that if I can convince you that patience works, both you and your child will be much happier.

All you have to do is preview the first 40 or 50 pages free at Amazon (it's a quick read) and you will have discovered several strategies that are based in patience and that really work.

But I quickly want to mention why you run out of patience: it is resentment. Resentment washes away patience and reason, and makes you feel frustrated, angry and upset.

I can help you with letting go of resentment. I even offer online consultation at LivePerson.

But first I want you to read some of the book.

Of course, you can also buy it. But I will be happy if it helps improve your relationship with your child. Then you can put a customer comment at Amazon or send me an email.

Your friend, Roland

Written in the tradition of LePetit Prince and Jonathan Livingston Seagull, this beautiful little book can be read as a heart warming story; but like Le Petit Prince, it also is filled with profound insights and meaning. Santa's Take on Parenting can be read over and over, and it makes a great gift.

Shadow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they demonstrate their skills in gently but firmly guiding two kids who are visiting with them.

Find out the secrets to their success.

Discover what Santa's skills are and why they work.

Let Santa and Mrs. Claus be your mentors!

I know you will enjoy it and hopefully there will be something in it that will help you with your parenting.

Incidentally, just as parenting is a year round job, so is learning and developing your parenting skills! Don't wait until the holidays.

Santa's Take on Parenting is available at Amazon.com in both quality paperback and in Kindle. Preview free.

Now at Barnes and Noble Nookbook. In color!

What Does Santa Say About Discipline, Homework, and Chores?

2011-11-17T07:28:00.000-08:00

I know what you are going to say, because I have heard it before.

I even heard it from a nice lady who was a receptionist at an office I used to visit. I told her that I was writing a book about parenting.

"What are you writing about right now?" she asked.

I said: "Right now I'm writing about how awful it is to force a child to stay in her room just because she was a little slow in cleaning her room. "

She said: "That's what I do with my daughter. I make her stay in her room."

I shook my head. This nice lady has thick glasses on, and I could see a picture behind her desk of a little angelic looking girl with thick glasses on (I'm guessing this was her daughter).

I said, "Why don't you try patience?"

Do you know what she said?

She said, "I tried patience and it doesn't work!"

I assured her that patience does work.

You see--she, like so many other parents, doesn't think that patience will work.

It's because she never gave it a chance. No wonder she says it doesn't work.

You see, patience never fails.

Well, here's something I know for sure. Patience=love.

So now I am going to prove to you that patience does work.

I know that if I can convince you that patience works, both you and your child will be much happier.

All you have to do is preview the first 40 or 50 pages free and you will have discovered several strategies that are based in patience and that really work.

I will be happy if Santa helps improve your relationship with your child.

Shadow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they demonstrate their skills in gently but firmly guiding two kids with issues who are visiting with them.

Find out the secrets to their success.

Discover what Santa's skills are and why they work.

Let Santa and Mrs. Claus be your mentors!

Incidentally, just as parenting is a year round job, so is learning and developing your parenting skills! Don't wait until the holidays.

Shadow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they demonstrate their skills in gently but firmly guiding two kids who are visiting with them.

Find out the secrets to their success.

Discover what Santa's skills are and why they work.

Let Santa and Mrs. Claus be your mentors!

Incidentally, just as parenting is a year round job, so is learning and developing your parenting skills! Don't wait until the holidays.

Click here to preview at Amazon.com in both quality paperback and in Kindle.

Now at Barnes and Noble Nookbook. In color!

I know that if I can convince you that patience works, both you and your child will be much happier.

All you have to do is preview the first 40 or 50 pages free and you will have discovered several strategies that are based in patience and that really work.

I will be happy if Santa helps improve your relationship with your child.

Shadow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they demonstrate their skills in gently but firmly guiding two kids with issues who are visiting with them.

Find out the secrets to their success.

Discover what Santa's skills are and why they work.

Let Santa and Mrs. Claus be your mentors!

Incidentally, just as parenting is a year round job, so is learning and developing your parenting skills! Don't wait until the holidays.

.

Santa's Take on Parenting is a handbook for parents. It has many new, easy to use creative solutions to typical kids issues.

But it is also a fun read and a good story. For example, you will also find out

What does Mrs. Claus do?
What does Mrs. Claus feed Santa?
What is Santa's favorite snack
What does Santa look like?
Does Santa use a computer
What sitting in Santa's sleigh is like
And much more

If You are Going to Read or Buy as a Gift for Someone Only One Parenting Book - This is the One!

2011-11-16T18:45:00.000-08:00

Here is a sample of one of my recent posts where someone asked about disciplining a 4 year old.

Most kids don't need discipline, they need direction and redirection. They need watching with love, kindness, and patience.

When I was a kid I fidgeted, interrupted, didn't pay attention, spoke out of turn, and was full of boundless energy. I liked taking things apart, and then could never get them back together again.

So, like Bart Simpson and Tom Sawyer, I survived. I outgrew my issues and graduated from high school with a full four year academic scholarship. I became a corporate manager and college instructor (with no adult ADHD symptoms).

I'm going to tell you the truth. Time outs or spanking are usually substitutes for patience. Often after we have become upset and frustrated, our patience runs out. If we are not yelling, then we are looking for some way to force the child to comply. Usually it is mostly for our own benefit--to get the issue over with and return to whatever else we were doing. We're glad to send them off to school so that we can have peace..

I know what you are going to say, because I have heard it before.

I even heard it from a nice lady who was a receptionist at an office I used to visit. I told her that I was writing a book about parenting.

"What are you writing about right now?" she asked.

I said: "Right now I'm writing about how awful it is to force a child to stay in her room just because she was a little slow in cleaning her room. "

She said: "That's what I do with my daughter. I make her stay in her room."

I shook my head. This nice lady has thick glasses on, and I could see a picture behind her desk of a little angelic looking girl with thick glasses on (I'm guessing this was her daughter).

I said, "Why don't you try patience?"

Do you know what she said?

She said, "I tried patience and it doesn't work!"

I assured her that patience does work.

You see, patience never fails.

Well, here's something I know for sure. Patience=love.

So now I am going to prove to you that patience does work.

I know that if I can convince you that patience works, both you and your child will be much happier.

All you have to do is preview the first 40 or 50 pages free and you will have discovered several strategies that are based in patience and that really work.

I will be happy if Santa helps improve your relationship with your child.

Shadow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they demonstrate their skills in gently but firmly guiding two kids with issues who are visiting with them.

Find out the secrets to their success.

Discover what Santa's skills are and why they work.

Let Santa and Mrs. Claus be your mentors!

Incidentally, just as parenting is a year round job, so is learning and developing your parenting skills! Don't wait until the holidays.

Shadow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they demonstrate their skills in gently but firmly guiding two kids who are visiting with them.

Find out the secrets to their success.

Discover what Santa's skills are and why they work.

Let Santa and Mrs. Claus be your mentors!

Incidentally, just as parenting is a year round job, so is learning and developing your parenting skills! Don't wait until the holidays.

Click here to preview at Amazon.com in both quality paperback and in Kindle.

Now at Barnes and Noble Nookbook. In color!

I know that if I can convince you that patience works, both you and your child will be much happier.

All you have to do is preview the first 40 or 50 pages free and you will have discovered several strategies that are based in patience and that really work.

I will be happy if Santa helps improve your relationship with your child.

Shadow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they demonstrate their skills in gently but firmly guiding two kids with issues who are visiting with them.

Find out the secrets to their success.

Discover what Santa's skills are and why they work.

Let Santa and Mrs. Claus be your mentors!

Incidentally, just as parenting is a year round job, so is learning and developing your parenting skills! Don't wait until the holidays.

Free Parenting Advice Online - Send Us Your Email Questions

2011-11-13T08:03:00.000-08:00

Roland loves email questions

Hi, this is Roland. I love email because I get to communicate with friends from countries all over the world. Talk to a Pastor Online has friends in Nigeria, Ghana, Australia, India, Brazil and Jamaica - just to name a few.
Need prayer? Got a question you would like to ask me? You have come to the right place.

If you would like to ask a question, you have come to the right place.
I have answered questions from friends around the world about a variety of topics. People ask me about tattoos, music, should kids have a cell phone, should parents let their kids play video games, is college for everyone, home schooling, discipline, hyper kids (like I was). Lots of Bible questions, coping with stress, college, prayers, television, and much more. I'm always glad to help.

Before we begin, I just need to mention a few rules.
1. You must be 18.
2. No bedroom questions.
3. I cannot do counseling for free (but you can ask if online counseling is right for you). For educational purposes only.
4. No emergencies, violence, crises or abuse issues.

.

So, if you are ready to get started, click on the link below. Please email responsibly.

Send us your email questions

Pastor loves email questions (and words of thanks or encouragement too!) Roland is not always in for chat, but emails are 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Same rules: no emergencies, crises, violence or abuse issues. Not all questions can be answered.

_________________________

Afterwards, if you appreciated his insights, then click on the coffee cup to buy Roland a virtual cup of coffee. This is totally voluntary and only if you want to after having gotten an answer

from Roland's insight, please
click on the coffee cup to buy him a $2 virtual cup of coffee.

Remember, your gift is only after a chat or email with Roland and only if you benefited from Roland's help. Only if you want to help Roland. Since Roland does not work for a church and does not get a salary, he needs a little bit to help him make ends meet. There is no rule about how much to give. Just what you feel comfortable with. Any gift is appreciated.

Roland Answers Questions on the Radio - What is Your Biggest Pet Peeve?

2011-11-12T16:39:00.000-08:00

Q. Roland, after 22 years answering questions, here's one I bet you haven't answered yet.

What is your biggest pet peeve?

A. Good question. For the best question of the month, I'm sending you an autographed copy of my latest book The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage.

I have several pet peeves. It depends what hat I have on--parent educator, college instructor, driver, counselor, talk show host, author.

I'll share my biggest pet peeve as a parent educator.

My biggest pet peeve is mothers who bring their child into the store, Starbucks, or donut shop in the morning and buy the child

hot chocolate and a donut (or other sweet pastry). Can you believe it?

That is about the worst breakfast you could possibly get a child. What kind of a mother would buy her child hot chocolate and a donut?

Should Kids Have Cell Phones?

2011-11-12T16:29:00.000-08:00

Q. Should Parents let their kids have cell phones?

A. No. Except for safety and for calling mom or dad.

We got rid of our cell phone and its expensive monthly contract charge. We got a Trac Phone at Walmart and every three months we get another hundred minutes for $20 or less.

My son has it with him when he goes to a rehearsal or other activity and calls me when he is about done so I can pick him up. I take it with me when I teach a class or some work so I can call and tell him when I'm coming home. We carry it when we travel in case we need help from the motor club.

We only talk to people on the land line. It's cheaper and we don't have to worry about electro smog and cell phone radiation.

Less cell phone equals a more peaceful life.

Should Parents Let Their Kids Casual Date?

2011-11-12T08:55:00.000-08:00

A. Causal dating is a bad idea.

I have an entire chapter on dating and courtship and the difference between them in my book which is available at Amazon in paperback, Kindle and at Barnes and Noble. Discounted eBook at Scribd.com

Should I Let My Child Play Video Games?

2011-11-12T08:43:00.000-08:00

Q. Should I Let My Child Play Video Games?

A. No. But it will only work if your child is very small and has not already started and gotten addicted.

Q. My son plays video games all the time. Some say it is educational. But some of them seem awfully violent and rude to me. That's all he does is play video games. My intuition tells me that it's unhealthy.

A. Thank you for your honesty. I've been warning parents about video games for years but no one listens to me. Once the child is addicted and all the peers are playing video games too, there's not much you can do but monitor and try to keep him away from the violent and graphic ones.

My son has never played video games. When my son was little, I got a word processor that was just like a desktop, with a keyboard and a big monitor. The only thing is: it only contained one program: Word.

He learned to type, to spell, to write and to use Word. By the time he was 9 or 10 he was editing and doing the layout for my newsletter.

Later we got a regular computer and he became very familiar with Word, Excel, Front Page, Outlook, music studio software and photo editing. But it was always for a purpose.

When he was small, computer time was limited. He spent his time playing and reading.

I am not a big fan of virtual learning for kids. The only thing they learn is to look at images and point and click. It too entertaining, and so it sends the wrong message. It also has a different effect on the brain than reading.

I like reading and library cards. I like reading, pencil, pen, and paper. I like workbooks. I like field trips with mom and dad. I like crafts. I like sports. I like the child working side by side with mom and dad (or pretending to work when they are small).

No video games please.

Should Parents Spank their Children?

2011-11-11T09:11:00.000-08:00

A. Never.

Q. Why not?

A. I consider it child abuse and it should be outlawed.

A. I have a good blog post on the subject.

I also wrote Santa's Take on Parenting, which lists many positive and loving alternatives to spanking. You can find it on Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

Should I Send My Child to Day Care and Pre School?

2011-11-11T08:41:00.000-08:00

A. No. When my child was small (he's in college now) we never left him with a baby sitter either. One of us was there at all times.

Q. But what about socialization skills?

A. He socialized with us and with people of all ages. We also got involved with the local home school crowd and found zillions of fun and learning activities to take him to. It was great fun.

Read the following poem

A Parent's Sad Recollection
by anonymous

My daughter cried every day.
The first few times I sent her away.
.
Mommy, can't I please stay with you?
No, you must go off to school.
.

But some kids get to have school at home.
Quiet. Can't you see I'm on the phone?

Besides, your pre school teacher said you don't always do what you are told.
Don't make me punish and scold.

But Mommy, Einstein didn't like school
and they called him a fool.

He was the exception.
But you are the rule.

But Mommy, I was in class all day and the sun is out.

Do your homework or I will scream and shout.
.
Stop making trouble for me
I'm busy, can't you see.
.
I'll be glad when I can put you in after-school every day.
I'm sick and tired of you always asking me to play.

***************************

My daughter, I am old
With not too long to live I'm told.
Could you take just a few minutes to sit with me?
I'm as lonely as can be.

Sorry, Mom. I don't have time to stay.
I took some work home today.

Oh, by the way,
we're taking you to the senior home to stay.

But I so enjoy being home with you

Sorry Mom, but I'm just soooo busy at work, and taking classes too.

************

Son, remember when you wanted to play golf with me?
Who would have thought it would take 50 years for it to be?
.
It would make me feel good
If you could. . . . . if you would . .
Just play a little golf with me.

I feel so cold and a little old.

Sorry, Dad, you know I would.
But my boss says I need to work,
and I always do what I'm told.

Parents, here is my fervent plea

I beg of you, don't be like me.

Life's golden moments come but once.

Here today and gone tomorrow.

Miss one and it's gone forever.

Should Parents Let Their Kids Go to Sleep Overs?

2011-11-11T08:35:00.000-08:00

Q. What do you think of sleep overs?

A. Terrible idea. I would never let my child go to a sleep over unless it was my child and my child alone (or with her brother or sister) to stay at grandma's house.

My Daughter Wants to Stay Home and Go to the Local Junior College but Everyone Says She Should Go Away to a Big School

2011-11-10T16:08:00.000-08:00

I read a book by Campus psychiatrist, Dr. Miriam Grossman MD, entitled Unprotected, and it alerted me to think twice about just sending kids away and assuming that the level of care, protection, and supervision will be what you would want for your child.

Today you hear of many young people who are moving back in with their parents while going to college. Sounds like a good idea to me.

I've heard the argument made that letting kids come back home is coddling the kids, overprotecting them and so on. But you know what--if it means that your son or daughter is safe from being assaulted, then I'm in favor of kids staying safely with their parents a little longer.

"All I can say is that today's college students are kinda on their own when it comes to solving problems and repairing issues."

Kinda on their own. Their parents are often well meaning and nice, but sort of unaware when it comes to many issues. Sometimes it's the mere fact that parents are miles removed from what is going on, having continued the legacy of just dropping their kids off at pre school, daycare, over nighters, school, after school, soccer practice, and finally the college campus. Thye are in the habit of dropping their kids off somewhere. So dropping them off at college is just the latest drop off.

The parents ASSUME, all the while, that there will be proper supervision and that everything will be okay.

Unfortunately, this is all too often not the case.

College students often turn to each other for help. Their friends are usually nice and supportive, but as nice and as smart as they are, they don't have the wisdom of years.

It used to be you could read Ann Landers. She had common sense, but she is gone. There are still people out there who are strong, noble and aware. They have love and understanding. They can give you some tips, shed some light in the cause and solution for your issue and how to use your resiliency to quickly get back on your feet and move forward without becoming dependent on them.

But I still think that kids, and college kids too, should be able to look to their parents first. And when they turn to their parents for help or advice and counsel--that help should be there.

Parents need to be involved, aware, and informed. Grandparents need to step up too.

When all is said and done, you are safer with a decent parent or grandparent than with some stranger.

I heard a great interview on FamilyLife Today on the radio. Dennis Rainey interviewed Mary Kassian. Her book Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild is a must read for every young lady and parents too.

The interview was riveting. She emphasized the importance of setting pre established protective boundaries, so as to avoid getting into a compromising or unsafe place in the first place. She gives plenty of examples. Preview at Amazon Click here to listen to the interview.

I recently heard another great interview on NPR Radio's On Point Program. If you have daughters (or sons) away at college or are contemplating sending them off to college, you must listen to this interview.

When you listen to this riveting interview you will hear from two ladies who have the stories, the facts, and the analysis that every parent with college age or soon to be college age kids will want to listen to.

For example, these ladies talk to college kids all across the country and here is what they repeatedly hear. They hear of rape and other bad things happening to women on campus. They also hear of hostile atmospheres that no one seems to be doing anything about.

For example, they said that the girls they talk to are telling them that when girls are walking around the campus they see boys looking at really heavy duty degrading things to women on their computers--openly, even in the common areas. They emphasized that this is not unusual or isolated, it is common.

One of the ladies made the comment that there is something wrong with the college culture when the morning after the night before, one person feels guilty and used and the other is getting high fives.

Of course, every school will say they are taking it seriously, that there are policies and there are administrators and counselors and training, etc. But something doesn't add up. The statistics for rape on campuses, according to these ladies, are telling. Something is wrong. Best to become informed. Hear what these ladies and others have to say, and then make an informed decision.

Should Parents Spank their Kids

2011-11-07T06:33:00.001-08:00

Should parents spank their kids? "

Absolutely not," says Dr. Roland Trujillo PhD, pastor, lecturer, and author of 11 books. "It is totally unnecessary." .

"Dr. Roland Trujillo PhD and Senior Pastor has written the book (now at Amazon.com) on alternatives to spanking. It is called Santa's Take on Parenting: Secrets from the North Pole. It will actually mentor you in learning how to apply patience and wisdom in working with your kids. It is also one of the sweetest books ever written and is right up there with Miracle on 34th Street as an all time reminder of what love is all about. "

"Little kids don't need discipline, they need direction and redirection. They need watching with love, kindness, and patience. Older kids need the loving presence of an involved aware parent. They need mentoring, coaching, and a parent who sets a good example. I'm going to tell you the truth. Time outs or spanking are poor substitutes for patience and wisdom.

Often after we have become resentful, our patience runs out. Then we feel frustration. If we are not yelling (or worse), we look for some way to force the child to comply. .

We might even resort to a canned, cleverly marketed Orwellian behavior modification program to sugar coat forced compliance. Then there is always the spectre of psychotropic meds.

Incidentally, I don't buy the Biblical argument for spanking. Parenting Freedom has a good article on the subject. Samuel Martin wrote an outstanding book about the subject of spanking and Biblical references.

Shadow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they demonstrate their skills in gently but firmly guiding two kids who are visiting with them.

Find out the secrets to their success.

Discover what Santa's skills are and why they work.

Let Santa and Mrs. Claus be your mentors!

Incidentally, just as parenting is a year round job, so is learning and developing your parenting skills! Don't wait until the holidays.

Click here to preview at Amazon.com in both quality paperback and in Kindle.

Now at Barnes and Noble Nookbook. In color!

Santa and Mrs. Claus are master mentors when it comes to parenting. Want a good read? Would you like to follow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they deal with parenting issues with love and wisdom?

It's better than attending a class and you don't even have to leave home or use any gas.

For the approaching holiday season I am also beginning a super new service. Free chat for parenting questions.

Buy the book and then you can ask me any parenting question free!

Just mention that you got the book and I'll answer your question free.

My Talk to a Pastor Online Free chat is so popular I am extending to answer parenting questions. I am the author of Santa's Take on Parenting which is available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

Preview the Santa parenting book free online

Here is a sample of one of my recent posts where someone asked about disciplining a 4 year old.

Most kids don't need discipline, they need direction and redirection. They need watching with love, kindness, and patience.

When I was a kid I fidgeted, interrupted, didn't pay attention, spoke out of turn, and was full of boundless energy. I liked taking things apart, and then could never get them back together again.

Lucky for me, my parents had such huge relationship, mental health, work and financial issues that they were so busy with everything else that they never got around to directing their full attention to me. So I was never diagnosed with anything or put on meds. Except one teacher informally diagnosed me as a juvenile delinquent when I broke another kid's eraser).

So, like Bart Simpson and Tom Sawyer, I survived. I outgrew my issues and graduated from high school with a full four year academic scholarship. I became a corporate manager and college instructor (with no adult ADHD symptoms).

We might even resort to a canned, cleverly marketed Orwellian behavior modification program to sugar coat forced compliance.

I know what you are going to say, because I have heard it before.

I even heard it from a nice lady who was a receptionist at an office I used to visit. I told her that I was writing a book about parenting.

"What are you writing about right now?" she asked.

I said: "Right now I'm writing about how awful it is to force a child to stay in her room just because she was a little slow in cleaning her room. "

She said: "That's what I do with my daughter. I make her stay in her room."

I shook my head. This nice lady has thick glasses on, and I could see a picture behind her desk of a little angelic looking girl with thick glasses on (I'm guessing this was her daughter).

I said, "Why don't you try patience?"

Do you know what she said?

She said, "I tried patience and it doesn't work!"

I assured her that patience does work.

You see, patience never fails.

Well, here's something I know for sure. Patience=love.

So now I am going to prove to you that patience does work.

I know that if I can convince you that patience works, both you and your child will be much happier.

All you have to do is preview the first 40 or 50 pages free and you will have discovered several strategies that are based in patience and that really work.

But I quickly want to mention why you run out of patience: it is resentment. Resentment washes away patience and reason, and makes you feel frustrated, angry and upset.

I can help you with letting go of resentment.

I will be happy if Santa helps improve your relationship with your child.

Shadow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they demonstrate their skills in gently but firmly guiding two kids with issues who are visiting with them.

Find out the secrets to their success.

Discover what Santa's skills are and why they work.

Let Santa and Mrs. Claus be your mentors!

Incidentally, just as parenting is a year round job, so is learning and developing your parenting skills! Don't wait until the holidays.

Click on the contact tab if you would like to find out about receiving an autographed copy of the book personally inscribed for you.

Ask Santa Author of Santa's Take on Parenting a Parenting Question Free

2011-11-06T09:43:00.000-08:00

Santa and Mrs. Claus are master mentors when it comes to parenting. Want a good read? Would you like to follow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they deal with parenting issues with love and wisdom?

It's better than attending a class and you don't even have to leave home or use any gas.

For the approaching holiday season I am also beginning a super new service. Free chat for parenting questions.

Buy the book and then you can ask me any parenting question free! Just mention that you got the book and I'll answer your question free.

My Talk to a Pastor Online Free chat is so popular I am extending to answer parenting questions. I am the author of Santa's Take on Parenting which is available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

We might even resort to a canned, cleverly marketed Orwellian behavior modification program to sugar coat forced compliance.

I know what you are going to say, because I have heard it before.

I even heard it from a nice lady who was a receptionist at an office I used to visit. I told her that I was writing a book about parenting.

"What are you writing about right now?" she asked.

I said: "Right now I'm writing about how awful it is to force a child to stay in her room just because she was a little slow in cleaning her room. "

She said: "That's what I do with my daughter. I make her stay in her room."

I shook my head. This nice lady has thick glasses on, and I could see a picture behind her desk of a little angelic looking girl with thick glasses on (I'm guessing this was her daughter).

I said, "Why don't you try patience?"

Do you know what she said?

She said, "I tried patience and it doesn't work!"

I assured her that patience does work.

You see, patience never fails.

Well, here's something I know for sure. Patience=love.

So now I am going to prove to you that patience does work.

I know that if I can convince you that patience works, both you and your child will be much happier.

All you have to do is preview the first 40 or 50 pages free and you will have discovered several strategies that are based in patience and that really work.

But I quickly want to mention why you run out of patience: it is resentment. Resentment washes away patience and reason, and makes you feel frustrated, angry and upset.

I can help you with letting go of resentment.

I will be happy if Santa helps improve your relationship with your child.

Shadow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they demonstrate their skills in gently but firmly guiding two kids with issues who are visiting with them.

Find out the secrets to their success.

Discover what Santa's skills are and why they work.

Let Santa and Mrs. Claus be your mentors!

Free Parenting Classes - Santa's Take on Parenting Is Like A Seminar in a Box

2011-11-06T09:27:00.000-08:00

We might even resort to a canned, cleverly marketed Orwellian behavior modification program to sugar coat forced compliance.

I know what you are going to say, because I have heard it before.

I even heard it from a nice lady who was a receptionist at an office I used to visit. I told her that I was writing a book about parenting.

"What are you writing about right now?" she asked.

I said: "Right now I'm writing about how awful it is to force a child to stay in her room just because she was a little slow in cleaning her room. "

She said: "That's what I do with my daughter. I make her stay in her room."

I shook my head. This nice lady has thick glasses on, and I could see a picture behind her desk of a little angelic looking girl with thick glasses on (I'm guessing this was her daughter).

I said, "Why don't you try patience?"

Do you know what she said?

She said, "I tried patience and it doesn't work!"

I assured her that patience does work.

You see, patience never fails.

Well, here's something I know for sure. Patience=love.

So now I am going to prove to you that patience does work.

I know that if I can convince you that patience works, both you and your child will be much happier.

All you have to do is preview the first 40 or 50 pages free and you will have discovered several strategies that are based in patience and that really work.

But I quickly want to mention why you run out of patience: it is resentment. Resentment washes away patience and reason, and makes you feel frustrated, angry and upset.

I can help you with letting go of resentment.

I will be happy if Santa helps improve your relationship with your child.

Shadow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they demonstrate their skills in gently but firmly guiding two kids with issues who are visiting with them.

Find out the secrets to their success.

Discover what Santa's skills are and why they work.

Let Santa and Mrs. Claus be your mentors!

Incidentally, just as parenting is a year round job, so is learning and developing your parenting skills! Don't wait until the holidays.

Where Can I Find Free Parenting Advice Online?

2011-11-06T09:21:00.000-08:00

For the approaching holiday season I am beginning a super new service. Free parenting advice chat for parenting questions.

My Talk to a Pastor Online Free chat is so popular I am extending to answer parenting questions. I am the author of Santa's Take on Parenting which is available on Amazon and 10 other books. I have retired from a 20 year university teaching career and now devote myself to helping people online.

We might even resort to a canned, cleverly marketed Orwellian behavior modification program to sugar coat forced compliance.

I know what you are going to say, because I have heard it before.

I even heard it from a nice lady who was a receptionist at an office I used to visit. I told her that I was writing a book about parenting.

"What are you writing about right now?" she asked.

I said: "Right now I'm writing about how awful it is to force a child to stay in her room just because she was a little slow in cleaning her room. "

She said: "That's what I do with my daughter. I make her stay in her room."

I shook my head. This nice lady has thick glasses on, and I could see a picture behind her desk of a little angelic looking girl with thick glasses on (I'm guessing this was her daughter).

I said, "Why don't you try patience?"

Do you know what she said?

She said, "I tried patience and it doesn't work!"

I assured her that patience does work.

You see, patience never fails.

Well, here's something I know for sure. Patience=love.

So now I am going to prove to you that patience does work.

I know that if I can convince you that patience works, both you and your child will be much happier.

All you have to do is preview the first 40 or 50 pages free and you will have discovered several strategies that are based in patience and that really work.

But I quickly want to mention why you run out of patience: it is resentment. Resentment washes away patience and reason, and makes you feel frustrated, angry and upset.

I can help you with letting go of resentment.

I will be happy if Santa helps improve your relationship with your child.

Shadow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they demonstrate their skills in gently but firmly guiding two kids with issues who are visiting with them.

Find out the secrets to their success.

Discover what Santa's skills are and why they work.

Let Santa and Mrs. Claus be your mentors!

Incidentally, just as parenting is a year round job, so is learning and developing your parenting skills! Don't wait until the holidays.

Free Parenting Advice - Chat Free with Roland, Author of Santa's Take on Parenting

2011-11-06T09:16:00.001-08:00

For the approaching holiday season I am beginning a super new service. Free chat for parenting questions.

My Talk to a Pastor Online Free chat is so popular I am extending to answer parenting questions. I am the author of Santa's Take on Parenting which is available on Amazon and 10 other books. I have retired from a 20 year university teaching career and now devote myself to helping people online.

We might even resort to a canned, cleverly marketed Orwellian behavior modification program to sugar coat forced compliance.

I know what you are going to say, because I have heard it before.

I even heard it from a nice lady who was a receptionist at an office I used to visit. I told her that I was writing a book about parenting.

"What are you writing about right now?" she asked.

I said: "Right now I'm writing about how awful it is to force a child to stay in her room just because she was a little slow in cleaning her room. "

She said: "That's what I do with my daughter. I make her stay in her room."

I shook my head. This nice lady has thick glasses on, and I could see a picture behind her desk of a little angelic looking girl with thick glasses on (I'm guessing this was her daughter).

I said, "Why don't you try patience?"

Do you know what she said?

She said, "I tried patience and it doesn't work!"

I assured her that patience does work.

You see, patience never fails.

Well, here's something I know for sure. Patience=love.

So now I am going to prove to you that patience does work.

I know that if I can convince you that patience works, both you and your child will be much happier.

All you have to do is preview the first 40 or 50 pages free and you will have discovered several strategies that are based in patience and that really work.

But I quickly want to mention why you run out of patience: it is resentment. Resentment washes away patience and reason, and makes you feel frustrated, angry and upset.

I can help you with letting go of resentment.

I will be happy if Santa helps improve your relationship with your child.

Shadow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they demonstrate their skills in gently but firmly guiding two kids with issues who are visiting with them.

Find out the secrets to their success.

Discover what Santa's skills are and why they work.

Let Santa and Mrs. Claus be your mentors!

Incidentally, just as parenting is a year round job, so is learning and developing your parenting skills! Don't wait until the holidays.

Parents and Students - College May Not Be As Safe a Place as You Think - Recommended Reading Resources

2011-11-05T14:58:00.000-07:00

In a recent USA Today article by Martha Irvine entitled College Mental Health Screening going High Tech, it is revealed that "Many centers are more swamped than ever, college therapists say, particularly at this time of year, in the frenzy of final exams and job searches."

The article states that there's debate about why there are more students seeking services, but there is agreement on the fact that there is an increase in demand.

Hello, my name is Roland. I am a pastor and counselor. I know something about college life (even though I'm old) because I lived in a college dorm for 4 years during my undergrad days when I was 18 to 22 years old. Then when I was in my 30's I went back to school for my Masters Degree. Then I taught university courses for 20 years, was a college school director for awhile and did some student advising. Now I spend my time talking and chatting with people.

I am also the co author of Mike's Story - How I Overcame Depression, Anxiety, OCD and other Issues Without Drugs. Mike's story is inspirational. He fully recovered from what today would be labeled disorders and syndromes and went on to a happy and productive. He begins his story when he was a kid, then a college student, then a young guy in his 30's, and then a middle aged guy in his 50's.

I tend to agree with what Mike had to say about college. He said: "All I can say is that today's college students are kinda on their own when it comes to solving problems and repairing issues."

Kinda on their own. Their parents are often well meaning and nice, but sort of unaware when it comes to many issues. Sometimes it's the mere fact that parents are miles removed from what is going on, having continued the legacy of just dropping their kids off at pre school, daycare, over nighters, school, after school, soccer practice, and finally the college campus. Thye are in the habit of dropping their kids off somewhere. So dropping them off at college is just the latest drop off. The parents ASSUME, all the while that there will be proper supervision and that everything will be okay.

Unfortunately, this is all too often not the case.

Often the parents have issues themselves and so they don't have the solid strength (like an old oak tree) to speak with authority and understanding. They defer to experts, health care workers, counselors, and administrators who offer high tech and chemicals.

Don't get me wrong. If I show up at ER with a broken arm, I want high tech.

But if I need some guidance for an emotional issue I'm dealing with (like a boyfriend issue, school pressures, or wondering what I'm going to do with my life) I need someone more like a really good grandpa or grandma.

Better yet, a father who is there for me. But, and I say this with all due respect, not one who's going to appointments every month for a variety of issues himself or who has a cabinet full of meds. Sorry, but he's just not credible.

College students often turn to each other for help. Their friends are usually nice and supportive, but as nice and as smart as they are, they don't have the wisdom of years.

It used to be you could read Ann Landers. She had common sense, but she is gone. All I can say is that there are still people out there who are strong, noble and aware. They have love and understanding. They can give you some tips, shed some light in the cause and solution for your issue and how to use your resiliency to quickly get back on your feet and move forward without becoming dependent on them.

Parents need to be involved, aware, and informed. Grandparents need to step up. When all is said and done, you are safer with a decent parent or grandparent than with some stranger. And don't forget the value of autobiographies and memoirs of noble people from the past.

I recall a particularly gloomy period in my life when I felt all alone, listless, and didn't know what I would do. I was in a big city at the time where I felt like a stranger. One early morning when I couldn't sleep I was listening to a big talker radio station. The host was interviewing a someone.

I became wide awake. The clarity and the honor of this man shone forth unmistakably in just these few words.

It was Vice Admiral James Stockdale. He spent six years in the Hanoi Hilton prison camp where he was tortured. He wrote a book about his experiences called A Vietnam Experience. In it he writes about college, leadership; and his love for the liberal arts, literature, and music.

Just knowing that a noble and thoughtful man like this existed somehow at some deep level gave me hope and the courage to move forward. Someday, you, the young person or college student, may someday become that type of noble person yourself for others.

A wise person said "This too shall pass." Believe me, I've had plenty of bumps in the road of life. But here I am.
___________________

I heard a great interview on FamilyLife Today on the radio. Dennis Rainey interviewed Mary Kassian. Her book Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild is a must read for every young lady and parents too.

The interview was riveting. She emphasized the importance of setting pre established protective boundaries, so as to avoid getting into a compromising or unsafe place in the first place. She gives plenty of examples. Preview at Amazon Click here to listen to the interview.

Yesterday I heard another great interview on NPR Radio's On Point Program. If you have daughters (or sons) away at college or are contemplating sending them off to college, you must listen to this interview.

Parenting Teens - Recommended Reading about Parenting Tween and Teens

2011-11-05T14:37:00.000-07:00

Today I heard Dannah Gresh on the radio program Family Life Today. It was such an informative interview and Dannah Gresh was a compelling guest and speaker.

Dannah is the mother of three and she has written several books about parenting, and especially about parenting tween and teen daughters. She has written a new book called Six Ways to Keep the "Little" in Your Girl: Guiding Your Daughter from Her Tweens to Her Teens.

The interview was so interesting and informative that I think every parent who is concerned about kids and who would like more information about protecting her daughter's innocence and purity will find this book helpful. Among topics discussed are appropriate dolls, unplug your kids, modesty, and more.

Therefore, I would like to recommend that you listen to the interview at Family Life Today and then check out Dannah Gresh's books at Amazon.

Free Advice for Parenting Teens from Online Counseling Pro - Here's Ssome Recommended Reading

2011-11-05T14:31:00.000-07:00

Today I heard Dannah Gresh on the radio program Family Life Today. It was such an informative interview and Dannah Gresh was a compelling guest and speaker.

Therefore, I would like to recommend that you listen to the interview at Family Life Today and then check out Dannah Gresh's books at Amazon.

Should Parents Help Pay for their Kids' College Education?

2011-11-05T13:57:00.000-07:00

Should parents help pay for their kids' college education?

A. Yes. You would rather they drop out? You would rather they become burdened with tens of thousands of dollars of debt?

If they are a little spoiled (they probably are not -they are just normal 18 or 20 year olds), now is not the time to try to change them. Help them get their degree and move on.

A Poem by Roland Trujillo

Don't scrimp and rave if they misbehave;
If they are working and saving
And not casual dating,
Count your blessings
And help them out.

This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 U

Should Parents Stay Together for the Sake of the Kids?

2011-11-05T13:56:00.000-07:00

Should parents stay together for the sake of the kids?

If you are both basically good, responsible people - yes.

Parents together like birds of a feather
Make kids happy and secure
Going your separate ways
Leaves them in a daze
When you flush your marriage down the sewer.

This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 U

How Do I Discipline My 5 Year Old

2011-11-05T12:35:00.000-07:00

Five year olds don't need discipline, they need direction and redirection. They need watching with love, kindness, and patience.

We might even resort to a canned, cleverly marketed Orwellian behavior modification program to sugar coat forced compliance. Then there is always the spectre of psychotropic meds.

So I have decided to make my latest book (now available at Amazon.com) free for you to read online.

But first, I know what you are going to say, because I have heard it before.

I even heard it from a nice lady who was a receptionist at an office I used to visit. I told her that I was writing a book about parenting.

"What are you writing about right now?" she asked.

I said: "Right now I'm writing about how awful it is to force a child to stay in her room just because she was a little slow in cleaning her room. "

She said: "That's what I do with my daughter. I make her stay in her room."

I shook my head. This nice lady has thick glasses on, and I could see a picture behind her desk of a little angelic looking girl with thick glasses on (I'm guessing this was her daughter).

I said, "Why don't you try patience?"

Do you know what she said?

She said, "I tried patience and it doesn't work!"

I assured her that patience does work.

You see, patience never fails.

In fact, there is a famous verse in the Bible, where Paul talks about love, and he says love never fails.

Well, here's something I know for sure. Patience=love.

So now I am going to prove to you that patience does work.

I know that if I can convince you that patience works, both you and your child will be much happier.

All you have to do is preview the first 40 or 50 pages free at Amazon (it's a quick read) and you will have discovered several strategies that are based in patience and that really work.

But I quickly want to mention why you run out of patience: it is resentment. Resentment washes away patience and reason, and makes you feel frustrated, angry and upset.

I can help you with letting go of resentment. I even offer online consultation at LivePerson.

But first I want you to read some of the book.

Of course, you can also buy it. But I will be happy if it helps improve your relationship with your child. Then you can put a customer comment at Amazon or send me an email.

Your friend, Roland

Written in the tradition of LePetit Prince and Jonathan Livingston Seagull, this beautiful little book can be read as a heart warming story; but like Le Petit Prince, it also is filled with profound insights and meaning. Santa's Take on Parenting can be read over and over, and it makes a great gift.

Shadow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they demonstrate their skills in gently but firmly guiding two kids who are visiting with them.

Find out the secrets to their success.

Discover what Santa's skills are and why they work.

Let Santa and Mrs. Claus be your mentors!

I know you will enjoy it and hopefully there will be something in it that will help you with your parenting.

Don't forget to send me an email with some feedback!

Incidentally, just as parenting is a year round job, so is learning and developing your parenting skills! Don't wait until the holidays.

Santa's Take on Parenting is available at Amazon.com in both quality paperback and in Kindle. Preview free.

Now at Barnes and Noble Nookbook. In color!

Roland's books are also available in eBook for a reduced price at Scribd. Look inside the books and order to read online, download or transfer to a mobile device at Scribd.com.

How Do I Discipline My 2 Year Old Child

2011-11-05T12:34:00.000-07:00

Two year olds don't need discipline, they need direction and redirection. They need watching with love, kindness, and patience.

We might even resort to a canned, cleverly marketed Orwellian behavior modification program to sugar coat forced compliance. Then there is always the spectre of psychotropic meds.

So I have decided to make my latest book (now available at Amazon.com) free for you to read online.

But first, I know what you are going to say, because I have heard it before.

I even heard it from a nice lady who was a receptionist at an office I used to visit. I told her that I was writing a book about parenting.

"What are you writing about right now?" she asked.

I said: "Right now I'm writing about how awful it is to force a child to stay in her room just because she was a little slow in cleaning her room. "

She said: "That's what I do with my daughter. I make her stay in her room."

I shook my head. This nice lady has thick glasses on, and I could see a picture behind her desk of a little angelic looking girl with thick glasses on (I'm guessing this was her daughter).

I said, "Why don't you try patience?"

Do you know what she said?

She said, "I tried patience and it doesn't work!"

I assured her that patience does work.

You see, patience never fails.

In fact, there is a famous verse in the Bible, where Paul talks about love, and he says love never fails.

Well, here's something I know for sure. Patience=love.

So now I am going to prove to you that patience does work.

I know that if I can convince you that patience works, both you and your child will be much happier.

All you have to do is preview the first 40 or 50 pages free at Amazon (it's a quick read) and you will have discovered several strategies that are based in patience and that really work.

But I quickly want to mention why you run out of patience: it is resentment. Resentment washes away patience and reason, and makes you feel frustrated, angry and upset.

I can help you with letting go of resentment. I even offer online consultation at LivePerson.

But first I want you to read some of the book.

Of course, you can also buy it. But I will be happy if it helps improve your relationship with your child. Then you can put a customer comment at Amazon or send me an email.

Your friend, Roland

Written in the tradition of LePetit Prince and Jonathan Livingston Seagull, this beautiful little book can be read as a heart warming story; but like Le Petit Prince, it also is filled with profound insights and meaning. Santa's Take on Parenting can be read over and over, and it makes a great gift.

Shadow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they demonstrate their skills in gently but firmly guiding two kids who are visiting with them.

Find out the secrets to their success.

Discover what Santa's skills are and why they work.

Let Santa and Mrs. Claus be your mentors!

I know you will enjoy it and hopefully there will be something in it that will help you with your parenting.

Incidentally, just as parenting is a year round job, so is learning and developing your parenting skills! Don't wait until the holidays.

Santa's Take on Parenting is available at Amazon.com in both quality paperback and in Kindle. Preview free.

Now at Barnes and Noble Nookbook. In color!

Roland's books are also available in eBook for a reduced price at Scribd. Look inside the books and order to read online, download or transfer to a mobile device at Scribd.com.

How Do I Discipline My 4 Year Old - Free Parenting Resources Online

2011-11-05T12:33:00.000-07:00

Four year olds don't need discipline, they need direction and redirection. They need watching with love, kindness, and patience.

We might even resort to a canned, cleverly marketed Orwellian behavior modification program to sugar coat forced compliance. Then there is always the spectre of psychotropic meds.

So I have decided to make my latest book (now available at Amazon.com) free for you to read online.

But first, I know what you are going to say, because I have heard it before.

I even heard it from a nice lady who was a receptionist at an office I used to visit. I told her that I was writing a book about parenting.

"What are you writing about right now?" she asked.

I said: "Right now I'm writing about how awful it is to force a child to stay in her room just because she was a little slow in cleaning her room. "

She said: "That's what I do with my daughter. I make her stay in her room."

I shook my head. This nice lady has thick glasses on, and I could see a picture behind her desk of a little angelic looking girl with thick glasses on (I'm guessing this was her daughter).

I said, "Why don't you try patience?"

Do you know what she said?

She said, "I tried patience and it doesn't work!"

I assured her that patience does work.

You see, patience never fails.

In fact, there is a famous verse in the Bible, where Paul talks about love, and he says love never fails.

Well, here's something I know for sure. Patience=love.

So now I am going to prove to you that patience does work.

I know that if I can convince you that patience works, both you and your child will be much happier.

All you have to do is preview the first 40 or 50 pages free at Amazon (it's a quick read) and you will have discovered several strategies that are based in patience and that really work.

But I quickly want to mention why you run out of patience: it is resentment. Resentment washes away patience and reason, and makes you feel frustrated, angry and upset.

I can help you with letting go of resentment. I even offer online consultation at LivePerson.

But first I want you to read some of the book.

Of course, you can also buy it. But I will be happy if it helps improve your relationship with your child. Then you can put a customer comment at Amazon or send me an email.

Your friend, Roland

Written in the tradition of LePetit Prince and Jonathan Livingston Seagull, this beautiful little book can be read as a heart warming story; but like Le Petit Prince, it also is filled with profound insights and meaning. Santa's Take on Parenting can be read over and over, and it makes a great gift.

Shadow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they demonstrate their skills in gently but firmly guiding two kids who are visiting with them.

Find out the secrets to their success.

Discover what Santa's skills are and why they work.

Let Santa and Mrs. Claus be your mentors!

I know you will enjoy it and hopefully there will be something in it that will help you with your parenting.

Don't forget to send me an email with some feedback!

Incidentally, just as parenting is a year round job, so is learning and developing your parenting skills! Don't wait until the holidays.

Santa's Take on Parenting is available at Amazon.com in both quality paperback and in Kindle. Preview free.

Now at Barnes and Noble Nookbook. In color!

Roland's books are also available in eBook for a reduced price at Scribd. Look inside the books and order to read online, download or transfer to a mobile device at Scribd.com.

How I Overcame ADHD and Became a Successful College Instructor

2011-11-05T12:30:00.000-07:00

Preview the Santa parenting book free online

Most kids don't need discipline, they need direction and redirection. They need watching with love, kindness, and patience.

When I was a kid I fidgeted, interrupted, didn't pay attention, spoke out of turn, and was full of boundless energy. I liked taking things apart, and then could never get them back together again.

Lucky for me, my parents had such huge relationship, mental health, work and financial issues that they were so busy with everything else that they never got around to directing their full attention to me. So I was never diagnosed with anything or put on meds. Except one teacher informally diagnosed me as a juvenile delinquent when I broke another kid's eraser).

So, like Bart Simpson and Tom Sawyer, I survived. I outgrew my issues and graduated from high school with a full four year academic scholarship. I became a corporate manager and college instructor (with no adult ADHD symptoms).

I'm going to tell you the truth. Time outs or spanking are usually substitutes for patience. Often after we have become upset and frustrated, our patience runs out. If we are not yelling, we look for some way to force the child to comply. Usually it mostly for our own benefit--to get the issue over with and return to whatever else we were doing. We're glad to send them off to school so that we can have peace.

We might even resort to a canned, cleverly marketed Orwellian behavior modification program to sugar coat forced compliance.

I know what you are going to say, because I have heard it before.

I even heard it from a nice lady who was a receptionist at an office I used to visit. I told her that I was writing a book about parenting.

"What are you writing about right now?" she asked.

I said: "Right now I'm writing about how awful it is to force a child to stay in her room just because she was a little slow in cleaning her room. "

She said: "That's what I do with my daughter. I make her stay in her room."

I shook my head. This nice lady has thick glasses on, and I could see a picture behind her desk of a little angelic looking girl with thick glasses on (I'm guessing this was her daughter).

I said, "Why don't you try patience?"

Do you know what she said?

She said, "I tried patience and it doesn't work!"

I assured her that patience does work.

You see, patience never fails.

Well, here's something I know for sure. Patience=love.

So now I am going to prove to you that patience does work.

I know that if I can convince you that patience works, both you and your child will be much happier.

All you have to do is preview the first 40 or 50 pages free and you will have discovered several strategies that are based in patience and that really work.

But I quickly want to mention why you run out of patience: it is resentment. Resentment washes away patience and reason, and makes you feel frustrated, angry and upset.

I can help you with letting go of resentment.

I will be happy if Santa helps improve your relationship with your child.

Shadow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they demonstrate their skills in gently but firmly guiding two kids with issues who are visiting with them.

Find out the secrets to their success.

Discover what Santa's skills are and why they work.

Let Santa and Mrs. Claus be your mentors!

Incidentally, just as parenting is a year round job, so is learning and developing your parenting skills! Don't wait until the holidays.

Dr. Roland Trujillo PHD on Parenting - Preview His Santa Claus Book

2011-11-05T12:28:00.000-07:00

I'm going to tell you the truth. Time outs or spanking are usually substitutes for patience. Often after we have become upset and frustrated, our patience runs out. If we are not yelling, we look for some way to force the child to comply. Usually it mostly for our own benefit--to get the issue over with and return to whatever else we were doing. We're glad to send them off to school so that we can have peace.

We might even resort to a canned, cleverly marketed Orwellian behavior modification program to sugar coat forced compliance.

I know what you are going to say, because I have heard it before.

I even heard it from a nice lady who was a receptionist at an office I used to visit. I told her that I was writing a book about parenting.

"What are you writing about right now?" she asked.

I said: "Right now I'm writing about how awful it is to force a child to stay in her room just because she was a little slow in cleaning her room. "

She said: "That's what I do with my daughter. I make her stay in her room."

I shook my head. This nice lady has thick glasses on, and I could see a picture behind her desk of a little angelic looking girl with thick glasses on (I'm guessing this was her daughter).

I said, "Why don't you try patience?"

Do you know what she said?

She said, "I tried patience and it doesn't work!"

I assured her that patience does work.

You see, patience never fails.

Well, here's something I know for sure. Patience=love.

So now I am going to prove to you that patience does work.

I know that if I can convince you that patience works, both you and your child will be much happier.

All you have to do is preview the first 40 or 50 pages free and you will have discovered several strategies that are based in patience and that really work.

But I quickly want to mention why you run out of patience: it is resentment. Resentment washes away patience and reason, and makes you feel frustrated, angry and upset.

I can help you with letting go of resentment.

I will be happy if Santa helps improve your relationship with your child.

Shadow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they demonstrate their skills in gently but firmly guiding two kids with issues who are visiting with them.

Find out the secrets to their success.

Discover what Santa's skills are and why they work.

Let Santa and Mrs. Claus be your mentors!

Incidentally, just as parenting is a year round job, so is learning and developing your parenting skills! Don't wait until the holidays.

Santa Claus Book for Parents with ADHD Kids

2011-11-05T12:27:00.000-07:00

I'm going to tell you the truth. Time outs or spanking are usually substitutes for patience. Often after we have become upset and frustrated, our patience runs out. If we are not yelling, we look for some way to force the child to comply. Usually it mostly for our own benefit--to get the issue over with and return to whatever else we were doing. We're glad to send them off to school so that we can have peace.

We might even resort to a canned, cleverly marketed Orwellian behavior modification program to sugar coat forced compliance.

I know what you are going to say, because I have heard it before.

I even heard it from a nice lady who was a receptionist at an office I used to visit. I told her that I was writing a book about parenting.

"What are you writing about right now?" she asked.

I said: "Right now I'm writing about how awful it is to force a child to stay in her room just because she was a little slow in cleaning her room. "

She said: "That's what I do with my daughter. I make her stay in her room."

I shook my head. This nice lady has thick glasses on, and I could see a picture behind her desk of a little angelic looking girl with thick glasses on (I'm guessing this was her daughter).

I said, "Why don't you try patience?"

Do you know what she said?

She said, "I tried patience and it doesn't work!"

I assured her that patience does work.

You see, patience never fails.

Well, here's something I know for sure. Patience=love.

So now I am going to prove to you that patience does work.

I know that if I can convince you that patience works, both you and your child will be much happier.

All you have to do is preview the first 40 or 50 pages free and you will have discovered several strategies that are based in patience and that really work.

But I quickly want to mention why you run out of patience: it is resentment. Resentment washes away patience and reason, and makes you feel frustrated, angry and upset.

I can help you with letting go of resentment.

I will be happy if Santa helps improve your relationship with your child.

Shadow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they demonstrate their skills in gently but firmly guiding two kids with issues who are visiting with them.

Find out the secrets to their success.

Discover what Santa's skills are and why they work.

Let Santa and Mrs. Claus be your mentors!

Incidentally, just as parenting is a year round job, so is learning and developing your parenting skills! Don't wait until the holidays.

How Do I Discipline My 3 Year Old - Free Parenting Advice Online

2011-11-05T10:14:00.000-07:00

Three year olds don't need discipline, they need direction and redirection. They need watching with love, kindness, and patience.

We might even resort to a canned, cleverly marketed Orwellian behavior modification program to sugar coat forced compliance. Then there is always the spectre of psychotropic meds.

So I have decided to make my latest book (now available at Amazon.com) free for you to read online.

But first, I know what you are going to say, because I have heard it before.

I even heard it from a nice lady who was a receptionist at an office I used to visit. I told her that I was writing a book about parenting.

"What are you writing about right now?" she asked.

I said: "Right now I'm writing about how awful it is to force a child to stay in her room just because she was a little slow in cleaning her room. "

She said: "That's what I do with my daughter. I make her stay in her room."

I shook my head. This nice lady has thick glasses on, and I could see a picture behind her desk of a little angelic looking girl with thick glasses on (I'm guessing this was her daughter).

I said, "Why don't you try patience?"

Do you know what she said?

She said, "I tried patience and it doesn't work!"

I assured her that patience does work.

You see, patience never fails.

In fact, there is a famous verse in the Bible, where Paul talks about love, and he says love never fails.

Well, here's something I know for sure. Patience=love.

So now I am going to prove to you that patience does work.

I know that if I can convince you that patience works, both you and your child will be much happier.

All you have to do is preview the first 40 or 50 pages free at Amazon (it's a quick read) and you will have discovered several strategies that are based in patience and that really work.

But I quickly want to mention why you run out of patience: it is resentment. Resentment washes away patience and reason, and makes you feel frustrated, angry and upset.

I can help you with letting go of resentment. I even offer online consultation at LivePerson.

But first I want you to read some of the book.

Of course, you can also buy it. But I will be happy if it helps improve your relationship with your child. Then you can put a customer comment at Amazon or send me an email.

Your friend, Roland

Written in the tradition of LePetit Prince and Jonathan Livingston Seagull, this beautiful little book can be read as a heart warming story; but like Le Petit Prince, it also is filled with profound insights and meaning. Santa's Take on Parenting can be read over and over, and it makes a great gift.

Shadow Santa and Mrs. Claus as they demonstrate their skills in gently but firmly guiding two kids who are visiting with them.

Find out the secrets to their success.

Discover what Santa's skills are and why they work.

Let Santa and Mrs. Claus be your mentors!

I know you will enjoy it and hopefully there will be something in it that will help you with your parenting.

Don't forget to send me an email with some feedback!

Incidentally, just as parenting is a year round job, so is learning and developing your parenting skills! Don't wait until the holidays.

Santa's Take on Parenting is available at Amazon.com in both quality paperback and in Kindle. Preview free.

Now at Barnes and Noble Nookbook. In color!

Roland's books are also available in eBook for a reduced price at Scribd. Look inside the books and order to read online, download or transfer to a mobile device at Scribd.com.

My 2 Year Old Daughter Does Not Want to Go to Daycare

2011-11-05T09:59:00.000-07:00

Q. My 2 year old daughter (almost 3) started daycare a couple of months ago She was normally a spirited cheerful happy child.

But a few days ago she stated crying after daycare. She cried every day and now she does not want to go back. She says she wants to stay with momma. I talked to the daycare people and they said that when she cries no strategy works.

I explained to her that I have to go to work but she cries and can't be consoled. Our pediatrician said she will get over it, but I feel bad.

A. If you are driving around and a red warning light comes on in your car's dashboard (such as a red warning light to check brakes), do you ignore it or do you do something about it?

Something is going wrong at the daycare. Trust your gut. Trust your conscience. Protect your daughter. Take her out immediately. Be with her. Keep her home with you.

If you absolutely cannot keep her home, then leave her with a trusted family member (like a grandma or aunt).

If no other option is available, take a couple of days from work, be with your daughter, and find another daycare.

Better safe now than sorry forever.

Advice for Single Moms, Divorced and Single Parent and More - from 21 Year Counselor and Marriage Coach

2011-06-16T16:38:00.000-07:00

Here it is. The book you have been waiting for.

Roland's new book The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage - making relationships work.

318 pages.

Written by Dr. Roland Trujillo PhD in Pastoral Psychology and based on 20 years of counseling and coaching couples

Here are just some of the topics discussed

The Dating and Mating Game Is Not a Game
“A Rose by Any Other Name is Still a Rose”

Where to Find Real Solutions to your Relationship Woes
Why Couples Argue
Myths of Marriage
Sex in Marriage – The Shocking Truth
How to Forgive and Forget
How to Apologize and Clear the Air with Dignity
Just How Important is Dad?
Marriage Counseling for Men
Can I Reconcile with My Husband, Wife, or Child?
Is Food Your Secret Lover and Enabler?
The Strong Family—Ten Lessons in Faithfulness

For all his loyal listeners and followers, Roland is making his new book available in eBook to download to your computer or mobile device for $4.95

a 50% discount.

For more infomation about how to preview at Scribd and purchase to download to your computer or mobile device.

Talk To a Pastor Online: Betty Martini is Finalist in 2011 Exemplary Servic...

2011-06-04T08:10:00.000-07:00

Talk To a Pastor Online: Betty Martini is Finalist in 2011 Exemplary Servic...: "This morning, Roland Trujillo on behalf of the Kids R Little People Foundation announced the finalists for the 2011 Kids R Little People Fou..."

Kareem Abdul Jabaar Named as Finalist in Service to Humanity Awards

2011-06-03T07:25:00.001-07:00

This morning, Roland Trujillo on behalf of the Kids R Little People Foundation announced the finalists for the 2011 Kids R Little People Award for Exemplary Service to Humanity.

This years finalists are:

Betty Martini, for her tireless work in promoting the welfare of children, teens and adults through research and informing people of the hazards of chemicals and additives in food. Dr. Betty Martini is the founder of the global volunteer force, Mission Possible International, which educates the public and draws attention to food additive issues that parents increasingly want to be informed about. Tireless and undaunted, she serves as a model of public service to protect and improve the quality of food for this and the next generation.

Chuck Colson for his outstanding Breakpoint Radio Program, bringing history and ethics to life for the radio listener. "Like a complete history lecture in 2 minutes." He is also the founder of
Prison Fellowship. He is founder and chairman of the Wilberforce Forum, which is the "Christian worldview thinking, teaching, and advocacy arm of Prison Fellowship," and includes Colson's daily radio broadcast, BreakPoint, now heard on a thousand outlets.

Robert Whitaker for excellence in investigative and science journalism, and who through publication and speaking brings issues to the table that parents and concerned citizens wish to be educated about in order to make informed decisions. Mad in America tells the history of mental health delivery in the United States. Anatomy of an Epidemic: Magic Bullets, Psychiatric Drugs, and the Astonishing Rise of Mental Illness in America asks why the number of Americans who receive government disability for mental illness approximately doubled since 1987. He tries to answer that question and examines the long-term outcomes for the mentally ill in the U.S. In April 2011 IRE announced that the book had won its award as the best investigative journalism book of 2010.

Kareem Abdul Jabaar--scholar, athlete and champion--for serving as an inspirational model of quiet excellence in athletics and accomplishment in academic scholarship. Star and record setting college and professional athlete, Abdul-Jabbar is also a best-selling author. His books include Giant Steps, On the Shoulders of Giants: My Journey Through the Harlem Renaissance, co-written with Raymond Obstfeld, Brothers In Arms: The Epic Story of the 761st Tank Battalion, WWII's Forgotten Heroes, co-written with Anthony Walton, and Black Profiles in Courage: A Legacy of African-American Achievement.

The winner of the award will be announced during the week of June 26.

About the institute

The Kids R Little People Foundation is dedicated to honoring distinguished citizens who work and speak for the good of humanity and whose lives demonstrate dedicated pro bono public service from the private sector. Their service both maintains and increases awareness of shared communal values among all people of goodwill and provides education and inspiration for the next generation of students, citizens and leaders.
The foundation intends to honor distinguished citizens who
promote the health and welfare of children,
who provide inspirational leadership in the arenas of sports or entertainment,
who teach citizenship through quality fiction or through nature conservancy,
or who bring the lessons of history to life through historical novel, biography, or motion picture.

Consideration for the award will also be given to citizens who
use the pulpit, radio, or internet blog, audio or video to protect the innocent and helpless, and foster the well being of children.

Special consideration will be given to exemplary service despite discrimination or persecution.

The kids R Little People Foundation is also an educational outreach to provide learning resources for teachers and parents to use in preparing lessons for the teaching of history through historical novels, biography and autobiography. For more information, contact Dr. Trujillo

Online Parenting Counseling -- Advice by Telephone and Chat from the Convenience of Home or Office

2011-01-29T16:51:00.000-08:00

Why online advice?

When you want some feedback from the convenience of home or office.
Cost effective, no travel or long term commitments
Answers and feedback right away 7 days a week
I'm a PhD with 20 years' experience teaching graduate and undergraduate courses in management, leadership and ethics,
have written 2 books on parenting and
my son graduated from high school when he was 13 years old.
Sometimes feedback from a professional can be helpful. We all could use a little feedback and help from time to time.

You just want some feed back from someone professional
with no strings attached.

The benefits

Save time - you don't have to travel

Convenient - email, chat or talk from the convenience of your home.

Anonymity - LivePerson does not share your name, phone or email address with me.

Get professional feedback

No organization to join or meetings to attend.

No strings attached.

What kind of issues can I get advice or feedback on?

Homework
Child unhappy at school
ADHD related behavioral issues
Single parenting
Dads, divorce, separation issues
Home education, charter school, private school, public school?
I can help you sort out the pluses and minuses of each
Preschool, the problems with
College? Is it always good to go right after high school
Raising a child prodigy
Parenting with patience
Coping with stress

Visit Roland's page at LivePerson now.

As an added bonus, you get access to dozens of articles, hours of audio and books to read free. After your session, you can read and listen to helpful materials for free.

Why Roland

Roland is a good listener
Roland is a highly trained professional
with over 20 years counseling experience
with an earned MS, PhD, and
Board Certification in counseling
16 years as university lecturer in management at the graduate level
Roland was an undergraduate business school director
Experienced in student advising
Roland's corporate career included management level positions and service as a board of directors member for a successful credit union.
He is down to earth and practical
Roland is friendly and positive.
Roland devotes himself to helping people on the internet
Roland is available 7 days a week
When you email or want to chat, you will be answered by Roland,
not by some faceless telephone person
Roland enjoys helping people

Consultation with Roland is now available

2011-01-29T15:34:00.000-08:00

Parenting Handbook Available at CafePress

2011-01-14T18:20:00.000-08:00

Some of Roland's listeners have been waiting a long time for this book to finally be available. What do you do when your child does not want to clean her room or do her homework? What if she says she doesn't like school?

What if your son is back talking all the time? Just how important are dads?

This book is a page turner. Buy one for yourself. Then get one for anyone else you care about. Incidentally, this resource will be invaluable for adult children of parents who didn't get it quite right. And it's great for parents with little kids who could benefit from a little common sense advice from Coach Roland

Parents want to love their kids. And kids want to love and obey their parents. But frustration, resentment, and hurt feelings get in the way. This handbook for parents and kids offers real solutions.

Too often, canned programs and advice are manipulative and rigid. We parents know that every child is different. What is needed is understanding. When you have understanding, then you’ll be able to see solutions that work because they are real, not phony or mean.

Order the classic first edition in handsome quality paperback at CafePress

For a gift of any amount, get Roland's book in ebook format free as a token of our appreciation.

Here is what you'll get:

My Daughter Does Not Want To Clean Her Room 10
Do Children Need to Be Told About God? 13
A Listener Asks: Frequently Asked Questions 16
Love is Patience 26
Love & Understanding – the Healing Force Between Parents and Kids 28
The Miracle of Love and Patience 38
Overcoming Learning Blocks 42
Absent Dad Disorder 47
My Daughter Does Not Want to Clean Her Room, Part 2 50
Coach Roland’s Guaranteed Tips for Stress Free Room Cleaning and Other Fun Activities 55
My Husband and I Argue All the Time In Front of the Kids – Should We Get Divorced? 60
Beyond Rebellion and Conformity 71
Could Your Problems Have a Basis In Emotions? 74
Be Ye Not Conformed to the World 77
Overcoming Stress 82
How Shall We Live? 85
Overcoming Addiction 87
Guilt for Resenting Parents Is Often a Factor in Why Teens Turn to Alcohol and Drugs 89
Video Games for Christmas – No Way! 92
The Antidote to Tantrums – It’s Called Patience 94
Raising Kids Without Pressure 97
How Important Is Dad Part 1 101
How Important Is Dad Part 2 106
Are There No More Good Men Left 111
My People Perish for Lack of Knowledge, What’s Wrong with the Family 115
Good Dads and Fathers We Need Them More than Ever 120
What has Come Between Parents and Kids? 123
Cherish and Protect the Spontaneity of Your Children (And Refinding Your Own) 135
Coping with Manipulating and Confusing Parents 142
My Son Doesn’t Listen to Me 147
Advice to Divorced Moms 152
Coach Roland Talks to Dads 158
The Authority of Love 167
How to Become Free Indeed 174

Roland Trujillo, teacher, author and radio talk show host, introduces his new book about successful parenting. Roland is host of the Coach Roland Show, a popular parent talk program on Blogtalk Radio.

For a gift of any amount, receive Roland's book free as a token of appreciation. Find out more.

What Does Santa Say?

2010-12-02T18:35:00.000-08:00

Santa's Take on Parenting: Secrets from the North Pole

.What does Santa have to say about homework, discipline, and chores?
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Santa Claus has finally spoken on the subject of parenting. Who is better suited to give advice than the one who has brought joy and delight to children for as long as anyone can remember?
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In this modern day Santa story for parents, the reader follows Santa and Mr.s Claus as they work with a couple of kids who come to stay with them. The results are positive and inspirational, as Santa teaches by example how patience and creativity can make parenting a lot more fun and easy.

"In this fun filled educational book, the author introduces innovative parenting strategies by using the power of story telling to take the reader on a fictional visit with Santa and Mrs. Claus. The reader learns how Santa and Mrs. Claus handle issues that arise with a pair of youngsters who spend a few months with the Clauses."
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What are "time outs Santa Style?"
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How does Santa solve discipline and communication issues?
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What's on Santa's do's and don'ts list?
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Click Here to Look Inside!

What is Santa's secret to making chores fun and easy?
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What does Santa say to parents about getting off to a good start?
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You'll find the answers to these questions and more in this book, destined to become a classic. Roland's new book is a Santa story for grownups with many teachable moments.

Santa's Take on Parenting is a handbook for parents. It has many new, easy to use creative solutions to typical kids issues.

But it is also a fun read and a good story. For example, you will also find out

What does Mrs. Claus do?
What does Mrs. Claus feed Santa?
What is Santa's favorite snack
What does Santa look like?
Does Santa use a computer
What sitting in Santa's sleigh is like
And much more

Helping My Toddler and Preschooler to Read

2010-02-07T09:01:00.000-08:00

When I say learning is supposed to be fun, I mean true learning is a discovery process that is quietly exciting. Learning is natural, easy, and occurs when you least expect it. Kids learn at lightning speed. Within a few months they can walk, talk, and do all manner of interesting things.
I will give you a couple of examples from my own life.
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School wasn't that great when I was a kid (and it's far worse now). But when I had an interest in something, I could learn at lightning speed. I knew all the baseball player's averages, for example. I could tell you the make, model and year of any car on the road. And I knew the frequencies for every major shortwave broadcaster from around the world. Why? Because I was interested in these subjects.

I know you can think of similar examples from your own life: things you were genuinely interested in, and how much fun it was to learn about them effortlessly. I never studied cars in school, or shortwave radio, or baseball; but I knew more than my parents or any of my teachers about these topics.

I know you can also think of areas where your kids just naturally have an interest, and they can spend hours learning informally. And afterwards they are not frustrated or fatigued.
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Let's take reading, for example. Many public schools are still using the wrong teaching methods for reading. Usually it's some variation of the so called whole language thing (I'm sure they have given it some other name now so that it is disguised). This horrible method makes kids try to recognize whole words instead of using phonics.

When my son was about three, I was at the radio station waiting for my radio program to start. I happened to notice a little brochure someone had left on the table. It was an ad for a certain phonics video. I live life intuitively, and something wordlessly told me to pick up one of the brochures. Following my intuition, I went ahead and ordered it.

There was something magic about this video (I've since done some research and other parents have confirmed it). My son watched it a few times, and knew the letters and sounds (just by watching and listening). Let me repeat: my son watched it a few times, and knew the sounds each letter makes.

Unfortunately, this video/DVD is hard to find, but I don't want to get too hung up about this particular one, because if you grasp how to make beginning phonics fun, a song, fast, interesting, and easy listening, your child will have fun and pick up the info within a few days.

I can't even tell you how my son began to read, but I can say it just happened and it happened fast, within a month or so. I got him a couple of books (like Goodnight Moon). I spent some time with him, and one thing led to another and before you knew it, he was reading.

He had a library card before he was five years old. He read The Boxcar Children, The Hardy Boys, Children's Highlights magazine, and Junior Classics. In my book, I will tell you more, but the bottom line is: he loved to read. Why? Because it was fun. It opened up a world of adventure.

He's now all grown up and attending college with a 4.0 GPA .

Here are some guiding principles:

1. If you do a lot of reading yourself and have a lot of books everywhere around the house, your example is probably the biggest guarantee of your child's loving to read too.

2. If you don't see yourself as being the one to teach your child to read, and you leave instruction to the so called experts and educators, there is a chance that the magical fun and delight in learning to read could be ruined.

All it takes is a wrong method, an impatient teacher, fear, some form of cruelty, peer group pressure, a scary school environment for issues to develop or even learning blocks. Just read the literacy statistics about how after years in school, many kids are reading below or way below grade level (which is low enough already). Something is wrong.

Google some stories about high school graduates who can't read their diplomas. Talk to community college English teachers and see what they face with incoming students some of which need remedial reading before they can even get into remedial English!

Of course, a loving and savvy reading coach can help someone of any age start reading. If the person does not have too many learning blocks from time spent in the destructive school environment--then within a few weeks, with some luck and patience, the harm can be partially undone. Hey, some people survive school, and despite school, teach themselves how to read.

But my point is: why let the harm be done in the first place. If you child learns at home how to read and then begins to read (and be read to) fun stories, he or she will be hooked on reading for life.

That is why I am focusing on preschool when the child has not yet had her love of learning destroyed or dampened by a bureaucratic structure. So I will continue. . . .

3. Have the thick cardboard books for one and two year olds to play with. Don't try to make them read, just let them play with the books. Let them play with your books too. Just don't give them your antique books, since there will be pages ripped out and others marked with crayons.

4. Phonics, phonics, phonics, phonics. Let me say it another way: phonics, phonics, phonics.
Okay, now I've made my point. But here is a critical point: Not just any phonics.

I had my epiphany (my aha moment) a couple of months ago. I was on the internet researching
phonics courses. I encountered an educator who wrote on her site that she had found the best phonics course of all. I was intrigued, so I followed the link to a website by another educator for educators.

The course was the most awful thing I have ever seen. It was all lesson plans, complex verbiage, learning outcomes, and so on. It was what seemed like hundreds of pages long, and consisted of weekly lesson plans that dragged the course on for months.

It was so rigid, so boring, and so drawn out that all it could possibly do ruin the learning process.

It was laid out in a schedule of lessons that would take months for what should take a couple of weeks!

My great insight was this: What some educator thinks is the best phonics program may not be what is really a good program that will be fun, fast, and will really work.

The other pitfall to watch out for is the emphasis of visuals for what is really a listening experience. This is counter intuitive, because reading is, after all, a visual medium.

But hear me out. How do kids learn to speak and understand the language? By hearing people speak. The child hears, imitates, and no one knows how it comes to pass, but will be talking your ears off before long.

So, because of today's infatuation with fancy visuals and computers, some phonics programs have the kid at a computer clicking on images and so on.
What they are learning is how to click on images and make different things appear.

About the only thing that will happen is that the child will have his or her attention span shortened (the average person spends 9 seconds on each website).

So make it fun to listen to. The visual aspect is just basically holding up the small letter to see with each part of the song. Kids love to hear, imitate, memorize, and sing.

A fun fast paced DVD/video is best. One that is very simple. Make it into a song.

How Do I Help My Child to Read

2010-02-05T13:13:00.000-08:00

Update February 2010 Editor's note: If you enjoyed and appreciate Roland's book My Daughter Does Not Want to Clean Her Room: a Handbook for Parents and Kids, you'll love the new book he is working on. Here's a little preview.

Learning is supposed to be fun. No, I don't mean party fun, balloons, exciting visuals, rock music in the background, excessive excitement, hype and entertainment. False fun--mixing in balloons, loud music, clowns and animals in costumes, excitement, and pizza and sugary junk food--is what adults do to make something appear to be fun.

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Nor do I mean having a little child move a mouse around to click on images on a computer screen (when their methods fail miserably, educators always reach for the ploy of saying they didn't have enough money for computers).

Finally, when I say that learning is supposed to be fun, I do not mean dumbing down the curriculum or teaching the test, so that the material becomes stupid and boring.

When I say learning is supposed to be fun, I mean true learning is a discovery process that is quietly exciting. Learning is natural, easy, and occurs when you least expect it. Kids learn at lightning speed. Within a few months they can walk, talk, and do all manner of interesting things.
I will give you a couple of examples from my own life.

School wasn't that great when I was a kid (and it's far worse now). But when I had an interest in something, I could learn at lightning speed. I knew all the baseball player's averages, for example. I could tell you the make, model and year of any car on the road. And I knew the frequencies for every major shortwave broadcaster from around the world. Why? Because I was interested in these subjects.

I know you can think of similar examples from your own life: things you were genuinely interested in, and how much fun it was to learn about them effortlessly. I never studied cars in school, or shortwave radio, or baseball; but I knew more than my parents or any of my teachers about these topics.

I know you can also think of areas where your kids just naturally have an interest, and they can spend hours learning informally. And afterwards they are not frustrated or fatigued.
.
Let's take reading, for example. Many public schools are still using the wrong teaching methods for reading. Usually it's some variation of the so called whole language thing (I'm sure they have given it some other name now so that it is disguised). This horrible method makes kids try to recognize whole words instead of using phonics.

When my son was about three, I was at the radio station waiting for my radio program to start. I happened to notice a little brochure someone had left on the table. It was an ad for a certain phonics video. I live life intuitively, and something wordlessly told me to pick up one of the brochures. Following my intuition, I went ahead and ordered it.

There was something magic about this video (I've since done some research and other parents have confirmed it). My son watched it a few times, and knew the letters and sounds (just by watching and listening).

I can't even tell you how he began to read. I got him a couple of books (like Goodnight Moon). I spent some time with him, and one thing led to another and before you knew it, he was reading.

He had a library card before he was five years old. He read The Boxcar Children, The Hardy Boys, Children's Highlights magazine, and Junior Classics.

For specific proven practical strategies. read: Helping My Toddler and Preschooler to

Read

+++++

Now available in Ebook. For a donation of any amount receive the ebook as our gift.

My Daughter Does Not Want To Clean Her Room: a handbook for parents and kids.

How To Help Your Child Succeed

2010-01-20T09:15:00.000-08:00

As a parent you must look into your heart to find the right measure of giving and withholding, of giving and receiving, of taking charge or deferring, of gentleness or firmness.

No one can teach you this: you must search out the way with attentiveness, kindness, concern (not worry), and prayer. If you really and truly want to do what is right, and honestly admit in your heart that you don't know what to do, and if--and this is the big if--you get your ego out of the way, you will be given wordless intuitive guidance.

Here's an example of understanding. Your son is in his room, but not doing his homework. Normally he does. Instead of barking orders from the living room, you thoughtfully take a look to see what is going on. You see that other kids are outside playing. You notice that today is the first sunny day in weeks. You remember that your son has been sitting in class all day. So you say: "Billy, why don't you get some fresh air and you can do the homework later?" Argument avoided, and everyone is happy (and he does his homework later). Your parenting grade: A

Another scenario. Your daughter is not doing her homework. You take a look and see that she is text messaging silly messages to friends instead. "Give me the cell phone. Do your homework." Firmness and directiveness here; not giving in or excuse making.

Here's an example from my own life.
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When I was 8 years old, I was invited to a birthday party after school. Being an extremely shy and somewhat lonely child, this was a really big moment. My mother was to wait for me in the car after school to take me to the party. I guess I was excited that day and somehow didn't finish a math assignment. The teacher made me stay after school to finish it (the first and only time in life I ever had to stay after).

I was in a state of panic because my mother was outside waiting in the car. So I just wrote down any numbers that came to mind as answers, quickly handed it to the teacher, and tried to take leave. Teacher called me back, saw what I had done, and started giving me a hard time. I burst into tears and began to sob. I told her about the party and my mother waiting.

I'm sure teacher's heart softened, and she realized in that touching moment that today was not the day to give an otherwise good kid a hard time. She told me to enjoy the party and let me go. Incidentally, I had a good time at the party (and I got A's in math in high school).

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You see, I cannot tell you in advance what to do in any particular situation. But when I am there, I check with my intuition (understanding). Sometimes nothing needs to be done. Sometimes just observing and watching is all that is needed. Sometimes just being there is all that is needed. Other times an action or word is called for. Sometimes "no" with an explanation.

And yes, sometimes bold action is called for. But more often than not, the calm presence of a good authority, a patient thoughtful parent, nips most problems in the bud before they have a chance to develop.

Nevertheless, there are times when taking the computer out of the room, getting rid of rock music or DVD's, no more television watching, a big reduction in socializing, or changing schools or starting homeschooling are needed.

I recently became aware that when a child gets a little behind (and this can happen for a variety of reasons, none of which are the child's fault), the child can simply become overwhelmed. For example, one child missed the classes where it was taught that multiplying two negative numbers results in a positive number. For weeks he fell further and further behind, getting all the answers wrong. He basically flunked out.

Only when his parents realized something was wrong, took him out of public school and put him in a parochial school, did things get better. When he went to the parochial school, he was so far behind most of the other students, he was put in the slow class. Guess what happened! He began to excel, was able to follow what was going on, and got A's in math. This student went on to receive a 4 year academic scholarship to a major university.

I was talking to a business colleague the other day about successful parenting. She said: "make sure you start early." Wise words. If you have a good relationship with your child when he or she is small; and if you have an understanding heart, you are off to a good start. If you continue to be there for your child (instead of abandoning your child to daycare, preschool, or some ambitious or scary school environment), you will avoid a whole bunch of potential problems. If you are vigilant about such things too much television, too many video games, and too much socializing--chances are that big issues will never even develop.

Once your child has conformed to the peer group and pop culture; once he or she looks for support and reassurance from them instead of you, you will begin to lose the natural authority you once had.

Peers, celebrities, educators, boyfriends, and so on become their authorities. Your child learns to be a smart aleck, to take drugs, to have sex, to tease, and to conform to the pop culture with them. And so they become the gods and authorities of your child. Your child will look to them for approval and assurance for what they have made of her. Once this has happened, should you try to intervene, you will be seen as the enemy, as mean, as interfering.

I am not saying that the proper order can't be restored. When a parent who--through suffering and soul searching--begins to wake up to see his or her own selfishness, and takes responsibility for what has gone wrong instead of blaming the child. When the parent is genuinely sorry and desirous to be a good parent from now on--I am not saying that things can't be turned around. Proper order and a good relationship can be restored, and that would be good.

But it is difficult, and may be impossible, if the child is already a teen or young adult, or if a divorce has happened and the child lives with someone else. But even here, love is a very powerful force. And when a parent has a sincere change of heart, the child (who is psychically bonded to the parent) will sense it, even if a thousand miles away. Something good can begin to happen, working within the heart.

Many parents turn their children over to strangers and to too much socializing when they are young. Often most of the day is literally spent with strangers, while mom is off at work. Even when everyone is home, each is off doing their own thing: watching television, sitting in front of a computer, or on the cell phone. The parent becomes a nonfactor. The parent tries to take charge by being mean or bossy, leading to the usual conformity or rebellion.

If the parent does not become a feared and hated tyrant, she becomes the opposite: not respected and not payed attention to. The parent tries punishing. Then perhaps turns the child over to more strangers and Godless authorities, who may prescribe heartless drugs such as Ritalin, Prozac or other soul destroying drugs.

Years of neglect, impatience, errors and so on lead to a lot of guilt. It would be good if this guilt led to a crisis of repentance, where the build up of conflict with conscience leads to a capitulation to conscience, catharsis and resolution.

But here is where 2 things interfere. One is the human tendency to not want to admit we are wrong. We don't like to admit wrong to anyone, even to our God given conscience. So we deny what conscience is wordlessly trying to tell us (just as we deny what our children are trying to tell us when they cry or act out--seeking to make us aware of our lack of understanding).

And so, when conditions develop that can't be denied, the parent may then do a complete about face: become too nice and too easy going, perhaps giving in totally to every demand. All to save face and try to make up for guilt.

Some parents will often rush after their kids, chasing them all the way to the rehab house or the jail, seeking to rescue them so that they can get rid of the guilt for having driven their kids to the streets and drugs.

The second thing that interferes with the healing of the rift between the human and their conscience and the healing of the relationship between the parent and child is the interference and "support" of the world. There is precious little understanding out there. There is the type of support that supports egos.

Just when the parent is beginning to do some soul searching and is willing to consider that she might be impatient with her child or resentful toward her husband, friends rush to tell her that she is just wonderful the way she is, and that the problem is bad kids, her no good husband, or the lack of funding for social and school programs.

Voila. She can dismiss her conscience, feel good about herself and look for someone else to blame. The medical and educational matrix may rush to her aid, so that she can feel good about herself, by pointing fingers at the child who is said to have oppositional disorder or some such thing. The "solution" is then the ubiquitous symptom removal, now in the form of psychoactive drugs. If the child can be treated and drugged; then the parent can feel exonerated.

So I must again say that there is no substitute for understanding. Just remember how you felt when you stood before some angry authority trying to explain something, and they would not listen. Where is the love? Where is the understanding?

The good news is: love still exists. It is in you right now. You have a wordless way of knowing, in the light of intuition which is from God. Right now it wordlessly and silently testifies to the truth of what I have said. The same light that is in me is in you. All you have to do is soften your pride and embrace (instead of rejecting) the conscience that loves you.

Yes, your conscience makes you feel bad (when you see, for example, your own impatience, selfishness or resentment). It makes you feel bad when you see how your meddling and manipulations have made everything worse. But the pain is only temporary. On the other side of admitting your wrong and being sorry is peace and a new lease on life.

For God's sake, don't be the heartless bureaucrat to your own children. Let your heart soften, and then your children will see the face of love. If you don't, then they will go out into world looking for love, and the kind of love there will find be in the form of a pill, a bottle, music, food abuse, promiscuity, or some false leader to follow.

Don't stop here, get the book! For a limited time, for a donation of any amount, get My Daughter Does Not Want to Clean Her Room: a handbook for parents and kids in E book. Find out more.